When I create anything, be it a wallpaper or a drawing, I always make sure there are borders. Everything is in its place and there is a place for everything. I also plan where I place a picture. In other words, I can be very structured when I'm working.
My youngest sister can be the opposite. She is creative but in a very chaotic manner. Well, to me, at least. She swears it's the latest trend. She can be very random in her placement of things. When I ask her why she put that icon there or even why that icon, she seldom has an answer that's logical to my ears. With me, I can explain exactly why I placed that icon where I did.
Our other sister just does what she wants to do. It seldom makes sense to us and a lot of times, she grabs her best ideas from us anyway. But that is not my point.
My point is we share DNA and we share parents and a home and whole lot of things. But we are different from each other. Just because we live together in the same home and our parents brought us up does not mean we have to share the exact same traits and likes and dislikes and behaviour. We are different just as everyone is different from everyone else. It is not fair to expect us to be the same just because we share the same genetics.
Nobody should have to conform to what their siblings are like or be like their siblings. Everyone has a right to be themselves. And anybody who does not realise this or accept it yet cannot place judgement on anyone who chooses to be different. We make our own choices and we will be the ones living with that choice; not you, not the aunty next door, definitely not the busybody friends who think they can tell you what to do with your children.
I have seen many kinds of people. Some I interacted with, even liked, while some I just knew from a distance. I have seen them make mistakes and I have seen some of them learn from their mistakes. The humbler ones even admitted to committing those mistakes and were big enough to apologise for them. The not-so-humble ones either never admitted upon knowing or just went their merry way feeling holier-than-thou.
Some of the most pleasant feelings I have ever had has been from knowing that I know people who have admitted they have made mistakes and are willing to change. Even as they have decided to age gracefully and be a better person, they are also aware that others can and have made the same mistakes they did. They accept people as they are without judging them based on anything at all. For that reason I am proud to call them my friends even as I sometimes wonder how they regard me.
But it doesn't matter. They know I accept them just as they are and I hope they return the favour. I may have had a momentary lapse in judgement about them or I might have even made the mistake of being too full of myself and judged them. But I see how they are now and I realise I have always enjoyed their company. And I hope they enjoy mine.
Now if friends or even acquaintances can do this for one another, it is indeed a sad, sad day when parents and family cannot, isn't it? But that is another story for another day.
For now, remember that "To err is human, to forgive Divine". We may be only human but we could try our hardest to be a better man (or woman).
I think children seldom consider how their actions and words can affect their parents. Unless you have parents like mine who will either smack you for a bad word or action or give you the dressing down of your life. Having said that, I also think the reverse also happens. Parents sometimes don't seem to consider how their actions and words can affect their children.
I know parents believe that when they want their children to do something it's in their children's interest. But they also need to realise that times have changed. What they know to be true might not necessarily hold true today. But have you tried telling that to a parent?
As parents, we do worry and we can only hope that whatever we have taught our children will benefit them in the future. But eventually we need to accept that once they have reached a certain age, they will have to be responsible for themselves and make their own mistakes. We have done all we could for them. We can only hope they've learnt something from it.
I just despair that many parents don't realise how their selfishness and overprotectiveness and greed could seriously damage their children. It may not show now or even later. But I do know that when it does, it's not the parents who have to clean up the mess. The children will be the one suffering. And I know from experience that what adults do to a child can seriously affect a child.
When Times at Parkson shut down, I still kept my membership because I knew I would go to KL often enough to make it worth it.
However, I was a wee bit miffed when the birthday card came from them after I got back from KL and it was valid only within the month of my birthday.
Much to my utter joy, the Times at the Hills opened and I had another bookstore to haunt. So I went there a few days before my birthday. I wasn't sure if they had any book I'd want but I looked anyway.
I nearly went mad with happiness when I saw the three Gregory Maguire books with the exact covers I have been wanting. Since I already had book 2 with the cover I really liked, I decided to buy books 1 & 3 despite already owning book 1. So if anyone wants a copy of book 1, I'm willing to give it away for free. However, I might have already packed it in a box somewhere.
Anyway, my Wicked collection is now complete and I am happy.
Until next pay day when I shall go on another book hunt. I really would rather spend my money on books than other useless things.
I've been considering moving to my LiveJournal. I really do like how the LiveJournal is set up. Okay, I'm being a girl when I say that I really like how I can make my blog look pretty at the drop of a pin (or in this case, with a quick CSS tweak).
And I can lock it up when I want to while leaving it wide open if I choose to.
But....(yes, always a 'but')
To get the full feeling of LJ, I might need to pay for it. Ok, fine! To make it prettier, I'll have to pay for it!
I believe that there more there is at stake, the more effort you should put into it.
What am I talking about?
When I first started dating Shook, I wasn't hoping to get married. I was just trying out this dating thing. But the one thing I never forgot was to treat his mother well and with respect. So, although in my mind I was not thinking of marrying him, I still behaved like a good maybe-daughter-in-law would.
I greeted her and, although it scared the bejeepers out of me, I sat and talked to her nicely. Shook even left me alone with her a few times and I didn't run screaming in horror although I was nervous like hell. In my mind, I saw myself as the girl who is taking her son away from her and I felt I needed to make up for that 'sin' alone.
As a result, when the time was right, it wasn't us to ask for the marriage, it was his parents. They got the ball rolling. Left to us, we'd still be dragging our feet and there'd be no Athena yet.
So. My point is this - If you want to take a son away from his mother by marrying him, spend time with the mother. Be nice to her. Don't take him away from her than he already has to.
Besides, when you marry the son, he'll sleep with you anyway. For now, let him spend some time with his mother. By doing this, you get kudos points and it'll smoothen the way for better relationships.
There are many people out there who don't realise this and it brings about many mother-in-law horror stories. Just as there is a saying about needing two hands to clap, a lot of times, it's not just the mother-in-law who is bad. You've taking her child away from her. Can you really expect her to feel good about you?
So, the way of it is to show her that she's not losing a son but she's gaining a daughter.
I loved the movie. It was part of a ritual my housemates and I had in the US. We'd watch Dirty Dancing about once a month. It was usually the time that all of us were at the house at the same. It was our quality time together. And we all looked forward to it. Always. Well, I did.
I'm sad he's gone. While he never made it into the big league of Hollywood, he was still someone in the land of many someones.
I think I'll go watch Dirty Dancing tonight and get all soft inside when he says "Nobody puts Baby in the corner!"
A knight in tainted armour - just how I like them.
