Today, the parental units come home!!! Yay!!!

You know how most of us actually do want our cake and to eat it too? Well, that's me. To be honest, my parents are my foundation. I cannot imagine my life without them. Never once did I wish them away, nor did I ever wish to move away from them. I can survive without them but only for short periods of time. When I went away to study, I love the independence, the 'freedom'. But that freedom is only sweet in the knowledge that I can always, always have somewhere to run to when I am down. And that shelter has always been my parents. I still cannot get over how they arranged for a ticket for me to come home while I was the US within 12 hours. And all because I was so depressed that I was crying like a baby on the phone. And I remember my mom hanging onto the phone because I was crying when I was alone in my room one Raya while I could hear the sounds of family in the background at home.

These are all things we never appreciate until we leave home. Until our parents are not in the next room to come to our aid. That's why I get angry at people when they wish for freedom from their parents. They don't seem to see how their parents suffer for them or bend backwards to help them. I always tell my sisters to appreciate our parents because, one day, they won't be around to shelter us anymore. And, by then, it could be too late to ask for forgiveness. Or to wish.

There was time when I had a back-up plan for a lot of things. There were two back-up plans which I knew I would not change. One was if I never get married, I'd move to the Mediterranean with a friend and enjoy life and the many men/boys in it. The other plan was if I was not married and my parents are no longer around. I long decided that I'd leave Malaysia. I didn't care where I'd go. I'd just go. Yes. That's how much I love my parents.

Thanks to them I've made the right decisions in my life. I listened to them, allthough at times I wanted to rebel. Now, I reflect on what I have and I've decided that all my decisions were the best for me. I'm happy, I'm secure and most of all, my conscience is clear. My parents brought me up well, despite them admitting that they did the best they could at that time. What 'evil' I have in me, I blame entirely on myself and not anyone else.

So...yay!! My parents are coming home today. But next week, they're going off again. They're taking my sisters to Europe for a holiday. I decided to stay back because next year, they're sending me and Shook to Europe for our honeymoon. So, from next week until the end of the year, I'm going to be an orphan. So, if I get depressed or edgy, blame it on the fact that I don't like being without my parents.

But, on the plus side, my big brother is coming home. Another yay!! He asked me what I want for Christmas and I still have no idea. Maybe I should just ask him to surprise me.