I attended Idles of March last night and I think it was an interesting affair. I know I had a lot of fun until the regular customers came in and just blew it for me. We had jazz, blues and even 80s music going. Then when our session finished and the house took over, the place got really stale for me really quickly. It didn't help that some very rude people were there early and kept talking loudly throughout the poetry reading and story telling time. It only goes to show that no matter where you put them, no matter how posh the ambiance, uncouth will remain uncouth.

Anyway, regardless of this, I had fun in the first few hours I was there and I'm actually looking forward to the next one. Which by popular demand, might be sometime in the second half of this year.

I came across a very interesting article in the newspaper the other day. It was in the Nature and Health supplement of the Borneo Post. I don't usually read this section but this article was, interestingly, titled ' Nice Guys vs Good Men'.

For someone who has more guy friends than girl friends and has a lot of male students who are a little confused about their place in the universe, I thought this would be a very interesting thing to read. The first line caught my attention and held it fast. It said - 'We know that "nice guys" tend to end up in the dreaded "just-be-friends" zone. But that doesn't stop women everywhere from claiming that this is what they really want in a man. So, what's the deal here?'

Then the next interesting line - 'The difference between a genuinely good man who attracts women and one who ultimately does not, is centred around from what position he he presents in performing his 'good guy' behaviour. Men who act nice form a position of weakness end up rejected. Men who are in a position of strength, yet who treat women well, often make the women so crazy for them that they have more options than they can handle.'

Then there were two headings:
The Nice Guy Who Finishes Last (Having Come From A Position of Weakness)
1. Capitulates to women's whims
2. Is afraid to lose the woman he is with
3. Has zero leadership ability
4. Lacks confidence
5. Has thinly veiled ulterior motives

The Good Man Who Wins (Having Come From A Position of Strength)
1. Treats ALL women well, regardless of sexual attractiveness
2. Does not respect sex - men without pressing sexual needs cause women to feel more comfortable in their presence. Ironically, women who are comfortable around a man who respects them sexually are more attracted...and ultimately more sexual.
3. Takes charge
4. Has options - If a man can inspire a woman to feel valuable or special, he's on the right track, but getting both right is an unbeatable combination.
5. Has high standards - The man is evaluating the woman he is with rather than trying to impress her.

I thought this article was a very good read. It should be an eye-opener for a lot of men out there. And it also puts into words what we women have been trying to explain to men. It has nothing to do with good guys and bad boys. It has everything to do with how we are treated.

But if some guys have the luck to go gaga over some weak girl who lets herself be abused and such by a bad boy, then they really shouldn't blame the girl completely.

I do take into account the fact that some girls are weak enough to need assurance and insurance more than anything. And I do take into account that, for all a guy claims he prefers brains over looks, he usually picks looks anyway. So it's rather unusual to find a woman who is smart, confident and beautiful. And when they do find her, the guys are too overwhelmed to approach her anyway.

But in the true typical make way, it's still us females who get blamed. So the next time we talk lowly of guys, this is why. We are very aware of our own weaknesses. We acknowledge that we have them and that many of our kind have them. We look down upon such weak females who need sugar daddies or willing to be mistresses and such. But at least we admit it happens.

But overall, I finally figured out why I was so quickly attracted to Shook. He does display the traits found in the Good Man Who Wins. He has his bad boy moments which everyone else sees. But whatever good guy traits he shows, so far, is only for those very close to him to see. And any better traits are only for me to see. Which is how it should be.

And if you wish you could see it, if you're a girl you better stay away because I can get possessive, and if you're a guy maybe you should consider coming out of the closet!