Still Being Random

I think I have been cursed (or blessed, whichever way you see it) with a short interest span. I always thought it was a short attention span and yes, I do suffer from that too. I think I might have a mild case of Attention Deficiency Disorder. It never seems to matter whether I'm tired or enjoying myself or anything but the moment anyone keeps going on and on about the same topic or matter everytime we meet, I can almost hear a switch click in my head. And I'm pretty good at walking away when I've decided someone is a bore to me.

Where am I headed with this? I have no idea. I know it started with my wish to change my blog template again (!!). I consider it a constant ongoing act of improving my skills. Also, I've been considering doing something different. Every once in a while, I get bored with what I'm doing and I do something else entirely. I was thinking that there might be more to life than just working all day, hanging out with friends all the time and meeting up to watch movies. Heck! There might even be more to life than just getting drunk despite what some people might say. So I've been going through my options of what I can do. It's now down to dancing lessons or aikido (or was it kendo? I'm not sure. Got to ask Shook). If I was in KL, I'd have signed up at the paintball park or the gun club already!

This is the kind of mood that gets me doing crazy things. But as long as I live with my parents, I live by their rules, which helps the sanity level really.


I just got back from Wilfred's wedding service at the St. Joseph's church. It was good. We were chuckling at Will's caught-in-the-headlights look. Everyone was surprised about how much I know of Will and Shook's escapades. They've all decided that since Will has joined the Marriage Club, Shook is the current bad boy left in the Singles Club. There's a few running jokes about the wedding today. It was a good wedding. When the priest asked if Wil entered this willingly, Eric made a sound and movement of prepping a shotgun. When the priest asked Tremas, I whispered to Eric that it was Tremas holding the shotgun. But Will and Tremas are fun people. They still remember how to enjoy themselves. Most of our friends are in the same age group so we may act playful and reckless but we're not childish about what we do. I think Leon and Shook once called this a careful recklessness or something like that. It's when we're being reckless but we don't lose control of ourselves.

I love these guys. I thank them always for helping me meet Shook. They gave me advice constantly about him. They taught me how to treat him and what he has gone through. They helped me accept him as he is. Because of that, I always try to make sure we meet up with them once in a while to hang out. I can't expect him to spend all his time with me only and I can't expect him to stay home when I can't be with him. And most of all, I can't expect him to take me with him everywhere he goes, even if he does go out to meet up with our friends. If I was this selfish, I can't imagine how mad I'd get during the many times Mac took him to party at Leon's house without inviting me! And this was when we were already dating. But guys need their guy friends. I accept that. I like to think I'm the strong enough and sure enough to handle it well.

And their stories. I love their stories. Some people might think they tend to talk about boring things. But nothing is boring with these guys. They make fun of everything. They're very open about everything. They test your patience, your open-mindedness, your strength. Life would be so boring without them around.

And today, Will got married. I think that bet is still going around on who is next! :D

I had the weirdest conversation with Shook tonight. We were looking at some pet collars at Amazon.com. I was so fascinated by some of them that I actually put some stuff for Yodie on my wish list.

Then I came up with the idea of creating a wish list for Yodie. The conversation went somewhere along the lines of

Shook: And what happens when they require a signature? Ask Yodie to put paw print, is it?

Me: Ya! She could make paw print or you could scribble something that looks like the word 'Yodie'. No one actually checks.

Shook: So want to ask SSPCA to make i.d. card for her?

Me: That would be cool! We're probably be the first crazy people to ask SSPCA to make an offical i.d. card for a cat just so she can receive online shopping!

or somewhere along those lines. Suffice to say, I broke out laughing after that. I had the mental image of Yodie going to claim her package from Amazon.com from the Pos Laju guy and signing it with a paw print. Or with Shook sticking Yodie in the PosLaju guy's face to help claim the package.

Well, the thought was hilarious at that time.

But I'd probably stick something in the mail for Yodie next time I order anything from Amazon. I really like the pink skull and crossbone collar. It's already in my wish list!

I went to watch Puteri Hang Li Po: The Musical tonight.


Personally, I think it was very good. I loved every minute of it. The songs were very good and the acting was superb. I only missed a few minutes of it when I ran out to buy the soundtrack because I knew there would be a rush once the show was over. Apparently, that was also the few minutes when Hang Li Po saw Sultan Mansur Shah in disguise at the marketplace. She saw him save some villagers and he saw her tend to the wounded.


I have ripped the songs into my iPod and will listen to them at leisure tomorrow. Even the most jiwang song is in. Thing is, the most jiwang song is the song of the whole show.


If you have not watched it, or had no plans to go watch it, I strongly recommend that you change your mind and head out there to watch it this very instant. Or, at least, change your mind about not watching it at all this very instant!!

Oh, that note, anyone crazy enough to go watch Stomp with me in KL? It's scheduled for 13-25 September 2005. I was thinking of going during that weekend of 17-18 or 24-25 September.

Oh, and for some silly reason, my Haloscan commenting is not functioning. I can't seem to figure it out. If you want to respond, you might need to email me. Frustrating, I know. But I haven't figured out the problem yet :(

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Second Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Moderate
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

I picked this quiz up at tarlia's and look what I got myself into this time!

Harry Potter Personality Quiz by Pirate Monkeys Inc.

You know how you are sometimes determined not to rant? Then someone comes along and, with just one word or a phrase or a sentence, they force you to give in to your earlier urge to rant until you turn purple?!

Well, that's what happened to me today. I was having a reasonably good day. I'm mentally exhausted and physically just there. Then I got an sms from an old classmate about a meeting we're having this Saturday. She goes on to tell me how she's sick and have been on sick leave for 2 days and might not make it to the meeting. So I told her that I've not been feeling my best all week but I still had to go to work to prepare my students for their exams.

Her reply? "Oh, you're a teacher. I'm working in a bank." I was WTF?! Just because I'm only a teacher I have an easier time than she does?! I'd like to see her try my work for one week and see if she even survives. Heck, banks are getting less and less work hours nowadays and they've got load of lunch and break time. Besides, they get paid overtime! I work overtime everyday and it doesn't get me more money. My holidays are barely holidays because I'll be marking papers and preparing reports. Like this year, during Hari Raya even, I've got students sitting for a Cambridge exam for my subjects!

I'd like to see her try and be a teacher and see if she can stay alive. Then she tells me I should lose weight. Just because she started worrying about her weight (she's half a foot shorter than I am!). And she's only worried about her weight because she finally got herself a guy! And this is the same person who told me that I need to get a life. When I tell her I'm involved in various associations for the sake of self-improvement, she says I don't know how to have fun!

How superficially shallow!

I went to watch Fantastic Four the other night. As usual, I managed to get a big group of us to go. There was Shook, me, Jerome, Mee Chern, Ben, Yi Fang, Eric and Art. The conversation I had with Art that afternoon was funny.

Me: Hey! I told Jerome that we have a triple date going to the movies tonight.

Art (with a grin): So that means I get Eric then.

Me: Haha! Eric's your date!!

It was just one of those things.

Anyway, the movie was good. I didn't expect them to follow the comic books that much. And since I'm just what I consider a casual reader of the comic books, I didn't think I'd be able to detect any faults with the movie. As it turned out, I had no problems with the movie. Everyone in the Fantastic Four was how they were like in the comic books. Of course, Sue Storm was pre-Sue Richards. Yet, I could have sworn that she had platinum blonde hair when I last saw her. I mean, that's why I liked Sue in the first place. As a child, the mere idea that hair colour could be any other colour than black was fascinating. I have to dig up that old comic book I have of them to check now.

Johnny Storm has always fascinated me because he's the Human Torch. Fire is hypnotising. I love fire. I don't like heat very much but I love fire. Fun to play with, despite the fact that I've been warned against doing so. But yes, Johnny was just as cocky and reckless as in the comic books.

I never did like Reed Richards very much. There's something about a man who can elongate himself at will that I find particularly unsettling. That's just me. But Ioan Gruffudd played him very well. In fact, he looked exactly like Reed Richards.

Ben Grimm had a great story to tell and it was well told. Although the entire Ben Grimm/The Thing saga spanned a few years of comic books and the movie compressed it to within a few minutes. I really hated his wife for being for being so superficial and sickening. So much for 'its-what's-inside-that-matters'. SOme people are just shallow that way. They're only nice to good-looking people. The rest of us inferior ones are treated like dirt. Hah!! Oh, and the actor is Michael Chiklis not Bruce Willis!!

My only gripe was Victor von Doom. I don't remember him ever being in the space station. I knew he wore body armour but didn't remember him mutating into the armour. The costume was exact but the source of it was not.

And I sat next to the worst man ever throughout the whole movie. No, not talking about Shook. Shook I love so I can handle. But the other guy next to man laughed like Elmer Fudd and kept slamming his body against his seat. He also loudly declared it was Bruce Willis and just laughed at everything even when it's not funny. Most of all, he got juvenile when Sue Storm stripped. What a stupid jackass!! But not worth my time, my blog space or my annoyance. Just...not worth it!!

For someone who was not enthusiastically waiting for Half-Blood Prince to appear on the shelves, I actually managed to read quite a lot of it within one day!

My student bought a copy over the weekend and finished reading it over the weekend. So she brought it to school today. Since her friends could not begin it today, I borrowed the book with the promise to return it by 4 p.m. So between the hours of 8.10 - 9.30 a.m., 12.05 - 12.50 p.m. and 2.00 - 2.50 p.m., I managed to read 24 out of 30 chapters. In between, I had to teach and prepare lessons. Even while I was reading, I had to entertain one or two students who were curious enough to watch me read. When one particular I-am-better-than-you student decided to test me on what I understood, I was persnickety enough to prove to her that not only did I read every single word enough to understand and remember the bits, I even remembered bits she didn't remember despite her boast of having read it within one weekend! The lesson here is: Don't bother me with your boasting when I am busy reading!!

Anyway, for me personally, the book is okay. The basic plot is a lot like the previous book. The first 3 books had some subtle differences in them but after that, it sort of went downhill for me. Maybe I'll just stick to the movies and wait for those instead. Don't get me wrong. I'll read the books just to find out what happens. But I'm not willing to spend RM99.90 for any of them. I'll leave such investments in the hands of more die-hard fans.

Along the veins of Potter-verse, I had the most whacked conversation with my mom and youngest sister about Azreen's picture in the papers on Sunday.

Me: Look! Azreen! Shook's sister!

My youngest sister, Nuril: She does not look like Shook!

My mom: She's Shook's sister. Of course she looks like Shook!

Nuril: But Shook's so skinny, and she's...

Me: This is starting to sound very familiar!! Don't even go there!

My mom: How can Shook's sister not look like Shook? Of course she looks like Shook

Me: It's Shook's sister, okay?!

My cousin is currently in England. I'm not sure for business or for pleasure. But, knowing him, it'll be very much a mixture of both.

However, he updated his blog with cool pictures and a little explanation about Lord Montagu of Beaulieu and The Abbey of The Kings.

I think Mac might find this interesting. The write-up is not in my cousin's own words but the pictures are his! It's cool! I would love to go there and see if my perceptiveness is still awake.

I used to be very, very sensitive to the supernatural. A visit to Stonehenge,before the government closed it to public in 1985, freaked me out so bad once because I know I saw a person in a white robe walking around, before he disappeared behind one of the rocks. I still have a picture of me holding a Coke (or was it Pepsi?) can just after I went chasing after him! I had asked my mom if she saw the person but she denied seeing him. I know we went on the summer solstice but surely there would have been more than one person dressed in a robe there. The only other people there were the tourists. Besides we went in the middle of the day!

Anyway, I'm always prone to deja vu and precognition somehow, and I'm very sensitive to bad vibes. I think I got that from my mom.

I would love to go back to England. Maybe we should get the University of Buckingham Alumni to organise a trip! Then the children like Shook, Rin, me and my sisters could tag along.

Anyway, check out my cousin's blog. It's interesting!

I meant to rant today about people who stab others in the back and people who are ungrateful after you've helped them. But then, I decided that it'd get too boring so I decided to talk about something else.

A few months ago, one of my students asked me if I would ever agree to have an open relationship. When I said no, she said she was all for it. That was when the mental tyres came to a screeching halt. I decided to see what was in this teenage girl's mind so I lowered my mentality and asked her for her definition of an open relationship.

She said, to her, an open relationship is when two people are together but they can still go around doing their own things; like the girl goes out with her friends and the guy goes out with his once in a while. I almost laughed and I told her that, to me, that's not an open relationship. That's keeping the relationship alive.

Then I explained to her that my idea of an open relationship is that two people are together, for all intents and purposes, but they will still have affairs or relationships with other people.

So my point here is that, when we talk to others, we need to be sure that their perception of what we say is the same as our perception of what we say. If not, we'll be talking at cross purposes. It's even worst when you try to explain and the other person absolutely refuse to listen to your explanation because they're always right and you're always wrong! So I figured that all the time I'm trying to help other people by being nice, some other people might perceive it as me being a busybody or not minding my own business or just plain sucking up to people at the top. And this truly sucks big time!! It's especially terrible when it happens at work where people are supposed to be professional.

Professional, my big fat ass! Some people at work are only nice to those who frigging sucks up to them or if they're white or rich! Frigging double standards!!

This was not supposed to be a rant, right? Bah!

In other news, my cousin has joined the blogsphere. He's the best cousin ever, despite the fact that I know he's not the most perfect person alive. But he's my big brother and that's all there is to it! And if I'm nice enough, cuz, do you think you could consider helping me find Angel Season 4 or 5 or even anything from Harley-Davidson for Christmas? Even this would be cool! Haha!

But I still ranted anyway, didn't I? Hee! Can't help it. Need to cleanse self of all negativity! What better place than the limbo of the blogsphere?

I just finished downloading the original the War of The Worlds by Orson Welles. This is the version that, when it was aired on the radio, sent people in parts of the United States into panic because they thought Martians had really invaded the Earth.

I've got the MP3 version but it sounds really cool. It's no wonder the people thought it was real. You have to listen to it at least once in your life.

I just received news that a friend of mine (who turned out to be my uncle by marriage) just had a baby girl. I'm posting the picture here. She's only two days old here. Her name is Arwen Zahra Raees Fulton.

Hmmm..kinda of wonder now if either one of the parents might have liked Lord Of The Rings more than I thought. Haha! But my heartiest congratulations to the parents.

Love you guys! Take care and hope to see you soon.

PS: Rather good news after that entry yesterday. And for those who were concerned enough to ask, actually, I'm fine. Not suicidal or anything. Not even depressed or upset. I just needed to unload. It's the time of the year when everything, no matter how insignificant, feels like a major burden. And it's not even directed at any one person in particular. Mac is right. Blogging is a good way to vent. So I did.

Have you ever done anything even knowing beforehand that it's probably the most incorrect thing you've done all day and you just know that you're going to get hurt by it but you do it anyway?

Well, I do that. A lot. Some people know me to be an optimist. Others think I'm a pessimist. A very good friend of mine knows me to be an idealist yet at the same time, he knows I can be a realist as well.

What do I think? I think I can be a bit of a fatalist. I do things which I know will get me hurt. I think it's like hoping for the best yet expecting the worst. I never believe that good things can happen to me. I never hope to be treated well. I never expect anyone to do anything selfless for me. I try to do unto others as I would like them to do unto me yet I never expect any thanks for it.

But sometimes, it's nice to be thanked. It's nice to have someone be nice to you. It's nice to have someone say 'I owe you dinner for your great help and advice'. It's nice to be cared for and thought of. I never ask for presents but it's great when I get them. It's wonderful when someone says 'You've helped me in more ways than you'll ever know'. Maybe that's why I love my job. I love doing things for others.

I'm not asking you to worship me. I'm not asking you to love me unconditionally. I'm not asking you to bow down and kiss my feet. I'm not asking you to be less than what you are. I'm not even asking you to be more than what you are. I'm not asking to be your first priority. I'm not asking for a slave or a master or a hanger-on or a sap or a puppy dog. In fact, I don't ever remember asking for very much.

All I want is some respect because I am a fellow human being. I can feel sadness and pain. I can feel loneliness. I can feel and I do!

I believe in karma - what goes around comes around. I live my life with this in mind. I show gratitude when I can. I show respect when I can. I even show deference at the expense of being right because I'm trying to save the pride of the ones I love. All these I do because I want to be a better person. I want to be someone who can wake up in the mornings and look at herself in the mirror and say 'I like you!'.

I'm not perfect. I never claimed to be. I just do the best I can in a world already starving for some good. Must I be punished for being who I am, what I am, how I am? If you feel so, then I can only say I'm sorry. I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm sorry you're not happy. I'm sorry you're hurt and have been hurt. I'm sorry I can't do more for you. I'm sorry you think you're alone.

I can't do any more. Sometimes, I need to think of me, too.

Over the weekend, I've been downloading soundtracks from various torrent sites. Believe me, if they had those soundtracks on sale here, I would have bought the originals in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, soundtracks are the one thing in short demand here in good ole' Kuching.

The ones I managed to get so far are

1) Angel (the series)

2) Mr and Mrs Smith
3) Twin Peaks

I have the original Twin Peaks soundtrack but it's on audio cassette and not in very good condition anymore. As for the other two, I always loved Angel anyway so why not? And the track 'Making Love Out Of Nothing At All' on the Mr and Mrs Smith soundtrack is too difficult to pass up :)

Imagine this scene:

The city is in chaos. A chemical has been released into the environment and people were panicking. Their eyes were clouded by the gas and they were feeling more than a little sick. The hero was on the way but nobody was aware of this. The heroine had grabbed a lost child and was sheltering him with her body from the panicking masses.

She was attacked by a villain on horseback. There was silence. She looked into his eyes and knew she was facing a mad man. In the background, the opening chords of the soundtrack plays. Then, the scene changes. The hero swoops in and saves the heroine from further harm just as Westlife begins to sing "Queen of My Heart". After a few exchange of words, the hero jumps off to save the city from the Big Boss. As he does so, Westlife sings 'I'll always look back; As I walk away; This memory;Will last for eternity'

The hero then confronts the Big Boss all to the song of 'Queen of My Heart'. Through it all, the audience went from shocked silence to surprised laughter to indignant jeers and yells.

Sounds like a bad B-Grade movie? Well, that was what happened to us last night at Batman Begins. Looking back at it, we all later agreed that, for that short scene with Batman and Rachel, the song was almost appropriate. The original audio came back on seconds after but the damage was done. One good thing that might come out of it though is that I believe most of us that night will go make a few pirates extra happy now. We're going to buy the DVD, at least, just to get the unremixed version of the movie.

However, I think Westlife should get a slot in the Batman Begins soundtrack. And we should have gotten at least a Batman Begins movie poster to help us forget the trauma.

As for the movie, I believe Christian Bale has come a long way from Empire of The Sun. He was Batman in the way that most fans would approve of. He took on the character the way Micheal Keaton was known to do it. Instead of just one, he was two people; Bruce Wayne and Batman. Two different entities living in one body. And Christian Bale pulled it off admirably. Looking at Batman, I found it difficult to find Bruce Wayne and looking at Bruce Wayne, I would have laughed in your face if you had told me he was Batman (providing that I didn't already know it, of course). Christian Bale acted as he did in Equilibrium. Anyone who has not seen that movie yet, go watch it. Since I watched Equilibrium as the first of Christian Bale's action movies, I found it very impressive. Considering that the last time I saw him, he was only a child surviving in World War 2 and a Swing Kid during Nazi Germany and an American Psycho, Equilibrium blew my mind away. Christian Bale became more than just a good-looking face, more than a lovely pair of arms, more than a child actor who tried to play grown-up in a childish world. He became a hot action star, who almost put Keanu Reeves' Neo to shame.

I could have done without Rachel! Talk about token female lead role! Blasted Katie Holmes already got the guy she has been dreaming of marrying since she was small, what else does she want?! Isn't grave-robbing enough for her? Maybe they should have stuck with Sarah Michelle Gellar instead!

As for the Batman movies, I think they've gone back to basics, back to the comic books (as I was told by some fans of Batman!) Overall, even with Westlife crashing the party, I though the movie was pretty good. I even had a teary-eyed moment when Alfred was telling young Bruce about how his parents' death was not his fault. I think we all have an Alfred in our lives; someone who cares enough to try and help us find ourselves or to be better people. It's just a matter of whether we can lower our pride enough to accept what they are saying. As Alfred said, "Why do we fall, sir? So that we might better learn to pick ourselves up"

What I want personally is a Lucius Fox and his lovely toys, especially the 'Batmobile'.

Next up - War of The Worlds!!

I got a little tired of trying to prepare myself to go back to work tomorrow. So I sat down and decided to create a template for my blog. The result is what you see before you. It looked okay while I was working on it but I have a funny feeling it might get a little overwhelming before long. It's no masterpiece. After all, I only worked on it for two days.

However, I think I'll stick with it for now. I'd probably do some more work on it. But for now, it stays....until I get bored of it again or until I suddenly think of different theme.

I went to watch Mr and Mrs Smith last night with Shook, Mac, Jerome and Jerome's two cousins.

The movie was good. It was good, honest fun. I wouldn't call it mindless really because most people would need to concentrate on the conversation to get the jokes. There were times when we were laughing at the rather subtle looks or words spoken but the rest of the audience didn't seem to share the fun.

After the movie, we all stood at the balcony of Star Cineplex to decide where to go and have dinner. While out there, I took one look at the Mr and Mrs Smith movie poster and told Shook that I wanted it. Well, it was partly my fault that I didn't specify what it was I wanted because he actually began to describe the guns that were on the poster and then proceeded to give me the price range of those guns. This is so typical of fun that I just had to laugh. His sense of humour can be so appealing at times. I say 'at times' because I know of a few flighty people who don't understand and can't take Shook's sense of humour.

We ended up at Great Kitchen for dinner and spent the rest of the night reminiscing about old times. Now we're not all that old really but we've been through so much that when we do talk about those times, we could only call them the good old times. With us, age was never an issue. Jerome was the youngest of the guys sitting there last night but even he had his fair share of great times to talk about. As usual, they talked about the fun they had playing various multi-player shooting games. I've heard the stories before but like all good stories, they get better the more times I listen to them and still as much fun to laugh about.

Last night was one of the most relaxing nights I've had in a long while. Whenever the guys start to talk about their game experiences (like Art getting airsick being Shook's door gunner or Herbert doing his room clearing), they always have so much fun that it seems so real. The first time I heard them talk about the times, I actually almost believed they were in the situations they talked of in real life and not just in a game.

Last night was a very good night. We should do that more often. No kids, no bashing, no laughing at other people, no criticisms, no pouting, no scowling. Just plain great fun.

And why did I bring age into the whole introspective thing? It's because I always believe that biological age never matters. What matters more is mental age, maturity and our own abilities to deal with real life. Along that vein, I'm 32, Shook's 31, Mac's 32 (a few months younger than I am) and Jerome's 20 something but sometimes I do believe Jerome has adequately caught up with us in terms of maturity and being rational. We know of some 30 plus year olds who still use past pains as an excuse for behaving childishly. What's up with that?! I used to do that when I was in my 20s and craved attention. Then I got sick of myself and bored with my own behaviour especially after I realised how I ruined a lot of friendships that way. So I stopped and decided to take control of my own life. So maturity does come with age but only if we're willing to do it. After all, words are just words until we back them up with appropriate action.