I'm feeling very demotivated today. I'm not sure why. I'm almost sure it's PMS raising its ugly head but I've had this feeling before and I just couldn't determine if it's connected to my hormones.

The thing is whenever I get this feeling, I just have the overwhelming urge to quit my job and take a sabbatical from the workforce. However, we all know I do not have this luxury. Not only will my parents not quite understand (not that I've tried asking) but I also know that sitting at home doing nothing but stare at the computer or TV will definitely drive me crazy. And, I just have too many things to pay for to quit my job.

I do know that I've been getting this feeling more and more often these few weeks. I'm just tired, I guess. I'm tired of office politics, and teachers who have nothing better to do than gossip about other people, of being nagged, of being made to feel obligated to do anything, of being made to feel like I have to give in. I'm just tired of many things. Above all, I'm tired of hurting. My feelings get hurt more often now by people who don't seem to think I have feelings too. Although I've never been clinical diagnosed as suicidal or depressed, I still do realise that this feeling is enough to make anyone depressed. Suicide is a thought but never more than that. I tried it once and, believe me, once really is enough.

I suppose I can safely say that I'm depressed. I truly know no way to overcome it. I'm hoping it's just hormones and it will go away soon. Because right now, I feel like nothing can ever make me happy and nobody cares enough to try. And I hate this feeling.

Or I am really just mentally tired.