I am at work but I feel so demotivated that it's not even funny. I don't feel like doing anything. Actually, I do feel like quitting my job but I don't have the luxury. Not only will my parents not go for it, they won't help me pick up the pieces of my debts or my spending just because I got too lazy or too tired to work.

I do feel the strong need to get away from needy people though. Probably because I'm in a needy mood myself. I've always had to be the strong, stable one that once in a while, I need to lean on someone. At this point right now, everyone seems to be depending on me!

Most of all that useless piece of organisation I call an Alumni! They act as if they'd all perish if I was not there! Nobody is that indispensable! They're all eager for a boyfriend and marriage and all that crap but ask them to chair a miserable meeting or make some minor decisions, they go stupid. Truly unreliable! And what's the point in having a committe if the President does all the work? It's not as if I was born with all this knowledge in my head. I learnt it all. Like everyone else has to! Jeez!!

At least, my Toastmasters is easing off me. I guess, since he got a love life, the president has discovered that there is more to life than meetings and social networking. But they still want me to take over as President. And because of that, I'm almost harrassing Shook to take a job somewhere outside Kuching! Like really, really far outside Kuching.

I really would like to be the needy one once in a while. The one who pouts and slams doors and acts childishly. The one who bitches and moans and groans over small matters. Just once in awhile.

Being the strong, stable one really can make things tiring.