"Who cares if someone likes that other someone based on their race. It's when you hate them, that's the problem". - Orked in Sepet
This remark has been bugging me ever since I watched Sepet last week. At first, I thought it was rather unfair a comment to make considering that she had just been ranting about racism. Then I thought about it longer and from another angle.
Orked was right in her analysis. A lot of people have preferences in their choice of partners. That's all right. In our multicultural society, there are some people who are very old-fashioned. Generally speaking, different races have different cultures. One example is that if a girl marries a Chinese boy, she'll have to move into his house and live with his family. Unless, however, she is a Malay girl. This means the boy will have to convert to Islam and move in with her and her family. For a Malay girl, this is a huge responsibility, having to teach your partner about your religion. Failure to do this is a sin.
Personally, this is the sort of responsibility which even I am not willing to undertake. I mean, if I am destined to be with a Chinese guy or any guy from another race, I would accept it as best I could. Before I went to the USA, my father only warned me against Middle Eastern men. He said if I were to hook up with one of them, I'd never see my family again because the Middle Eastern men are rather possessive. This warning had nothing to do with racism or anything. It was just that my parents prefer to be able to see me for the rest of their lives.
At the same time, I can safely say I have seen what hating someone based on their race can do. It has turned the African Americans into very bitter people. So bitter until they will kill you for calling them 'blacks' but it's OK for them to call everyone else 'white' or 'ching'. See how terrible racism is? It creates double standards.
When we don't give a race a chance, it's racism too. I used to not give local men a chance. Rin rants about this issue better than I do. But I did give them a chance and that's how I got to be good friends with people like Mac and then met Shook. I may have been overseas, I may have family from as far as Norway and Australia and England and the USA and Macau and Tibet and Hong Kong and Morocco and Saudi Arabia, but I have learnt so much and about so many things from these local men than I had learnt from my American friends or my 'orang putih' relatives. So who's to say that local men lack knowledge or are stupid or not worth my time? Having that thought alone makes us a little bit of a racist already.
I have seen way too many instances of racism, even here in Kuching. And I thought we are multicultural. It's there even in people who don't think they are racist. It's there in people who advocates anti-racism. It's there in various degrees. It's just that a lot of times, we blind ourselves to it because it's safer that way and we can feel much better about ourselves.
On the other hand, there is that problem with hating or not accepting someone based on their gender. But this is another issue altogether....
This remark has been bugging me ever since I watched Sepet last week. At first, I thought it was rather unfair a comment to make considering that she had just been ranting about racism. Then I thought about it longer and from another angle.
Orked was right in her analysis. A lot of people have preferences in their choice of partners. That's all right. In our multicultural society, there are some people who are very old-fashioned. Generally speaking, different races have different cultures. One example is that if a girl marries a Chinese boy, she'll have to move into his house and live with his family. Unless, however, she is a Malay girl. This means the boy will have to convert to Islam and move in with her and her family. For a Malay girl, this is a huge responsibility, having to teach your partner about your religion. Failure to do this is a sin.
Personally, this is the sort of responsibility which even I am not willing to undertake. I mean, if I am destined to be with a Chinese guy or any guy from another race, I would accept it as best I could. Before I went to the USA, my father only warned me against Middle Eastern men. He said if I were to hook up with one of them, I'd never see my family again because the Middle Eastern men are rather possessive. This warning had nothing to do with racism or anything. It was just that my parents prefer to be able to see me for the rest of their lives.
At the same time, I can safely say I have seen what hating someone based on their race can do. It has turned the African Americans into very bitter people. So bitter until they will kill you for calling them 'blacks' but it's OK for them to call everyone else 'white' or 'ching'. See how terrible racism is? It creates double standards.
When we don't give a race a chance, it's racism too. I used to not give local men a chance. Rin rants about this issue better than I do. But I did give them a chance and that's how I got to be good friends with people like Mac and then met Shook. I may have been overseas, I may have family from as far as Norway and Australia and England and the USA and Macau and Tibet and Hong Kong and Morocco and Saudi Arabia, but I have learnt so much and about so many things from these local men than I had learnt from my American friends or my 'orang putih' relatives. So who's to say that local men lack knowledge or are stupid or not worth my time? Having that thought alone makes us a little bit of a racist already.
I have seen way too many instances of racism, even here in Kuching. And I thought we are multicultural. It's there even in people who don't think they are racist. It's there in people who advocates anti-racism. It's there in various degrees. It's just that a lot of times, we blind ourselves to it because it's safer that way and we can feel much better about ourselves.
On the other hand, there is that problem with hating or not accepting someone based on their gender. But this is another issue altogether....
9:37 am |
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