Still Being Random

Dear brain,

What is with all the Dean Winchester dreams? The night before you had me married to him and last night, he was hanging around my house trying to get ideas from me on how to solve a supernatural problem while I tried to keep him out of sight of my family.

Why? Why? I know I like Dean Winchester but I miss The Unit guys more. Why can't you give me covert ops dreams instead?

Love always,

Me

Today was the first time I went out for more than an hour since the holidays began. But I only went out for lunch then pay bills then went to buy stuff for my room. So it wasn't all selfish.

But, going out during the day always gives me a bit of a culture shock. One reason is that when I'm at work, I'm at work for 8 hours straight. I don't know what daytime traffic is like. So during the holidays, when I do go out, the urge to run down stupid people on the road is really stronger.

Today, however, my urge to scream and maim and kill was triggered by something else. It was pure stupidity in its highest form and just plain ignorance.

So I will say this once and only once. After this, I'm printing things out to be distributed to help the ignorant. What follows can be rather candid so if you're the faint-hearted type, stop now.

This is what the Nazi regime did for years during the World War 2. They did this to everyone who wasn't like them. They believed the world should be populated by the Master race - blond, blue-eyed and fair-skinned. They killed anyone who did not fill this criteria. They killed anyone who was Jewish, homosexual, ill, handicapped, Gypsies, Slavics and prisoners of war. Basically, anyone who was not within their idea of perfection. They practised genocide. They experimented on their prisoners. They played psychological games with the prisoners. They tore families apart. They had concentration camps and extermination camps.

Despite the fact that we can be thankful to Hitler for the Autobahn, Volkswagen and a radio in every house, it doesn't hide the fact that he was a cruel leader and one of the worst war criminals the world and history has seen.

So, why then do we see our youngsters walking around town proudly wearing the Nazi flag? Why do they wish to be a part of a culture which if it really came here, we will be the first victims? We aren't fair-skinned (despite some parties trying really hard to be), we don't have blue eyes (Most Nazis can see past the contact lenses) and we're not blonde (again, despite what many are trying to do). 

Why such pride for a nation that would have absolutely no respect for us in any way shape or form? Why are some shops selling clothes that come with the Nazi symbol on them? Are we really that stupid? And I bet you that these people who wear the swastika in town will beat you up if you call them stupid. Yet, what else can  call them if not stupid?

The only excuse I can see here is ignorance. Ignorance of history, ignorance of real events, ignorance of current issues.

The thing that triggered my anger today was a Sorento driven by a man and it had the swastika sticker placed just above his third brake light. The guy is lucky I didn't have a baseball bat in my car or I would have started smashing his vehicle while calling him a Nazi bastard.

And the other thing that makes me even more sad? If you go to town, most of the bloody ignorant, stupid kids who wear the swastikas are either Malay or Bumiputeras. What does it tell you about the future of our country when the young ones are too bloody daft to find out the history behind the bloody, damn things they put on their bodies?

I curse these people. They have never come close to a Neo-Nazi or a Ku Klux Klan rally. They have never watched those documentaries about the Holocaust. They have never looked into the eyes of Jewish relatives and seen the sadness and resignation borne from witnessing such an act. I curse them with everything in me. I can only hope that they realise how stupid they are before they leave our safe little country and meet the outside big,bad, real world.

I've been doing a lot of things on my own this week. My family has gone to Singapore, partly for a holiday and mostly for an official function. The one sister left here seems more concerned with her friends and bringing unknown guys to our house. Most friends I know are either working or rather not do what I'd like to do. And besides, who wants to be seen with a pregnant friend?

So, on Tuesday, I spent most of my morning going to the hospital for a check-up then went to send some things to be mailed to my father in KL then went to school to pick up some work. After that I went back to the hospital for the second half of my check-up.

Today, I decided to go watch a movie on my own and tonight I have to go back to the hospital to get another check-up done. And I still have some school work to finish up before Monday rolls by.

I'm a bit depressed doing everything on my own but it's not affected my outward mood or anything. So I'm not sure what prompted me to scold a group of girls at the cinema today. I was obviously in line and they decided to cut the line. So I said "Excuse me but I'm pretty sure I was here first." To which one of them, quite obligingly and nicely, replied "But there is a counter here opened."

So I pointed out, rather obviously that the counter has nobody sitting there and it would be really silly to be waiting to buy a ticket in front of an empty counter, wouldn't it? So she changed tactics and said "Oh. So which is the right way?" So I pointed at the sign saying 'IN' and said 'That one says to come in that way and the other one says to go out that way." as I then pointed to the sign saying 'OUT'. The other girl with her decided to play blonde and say "Oh, I'm so lost now."

If I was being bitchy, I would have said,"Nah. You're not lost. You're just stupid."

And when I got to the counter, the ticket lady was scolding another group of kids about going the right way and getting in line. When I got to her, she said, "These kids. Go to school but don't know how to read."

I had to laugh.

Revenge makes such incredible movie fodder.

I just got home from watching Death Race. I seriously thought it would be some Mad Max-esque racing movie. I also figured it would be mindless at best.

Turns out I was wrong. It wasn't as predictable as some movies I've watched recently, although I did expect a few of the outcome and it was mad Max-esque. I thought the plot might be choppy but the writers actually managed to plug some plot holes before the end. the only thing is that it's not as gritty as Mad Max. Now he was one kickass post-Apocalypse driver.

Death Race can appeal to the female audience because you do get to see a shot of Jason Statham's naked behind albeit from a distance. Not to mention his yummy body, especially when he was doing those chin-ups. This shot was up close. Hey, it makes one more appreciative of the male physique when it's all in the right places.

Also, Jason Statham's character, like all other characters he has played, are always tough guys. They're not romance movie or romance comedy perfect but they can hold their own. You know that if you're with a guy like that, you'll be cared for and protected. And once they love, they love for good. These kind of guys are very Charlotte Bronte not Jane Austen. Jane Austen's male leads have always been too soft for me. Now Charlotte Bronte. There's a lady you can depend on to write about male angst.

Anyway, it's not only a movie for guys with all the explosions and adrenaline. Somewhere at the end, the female takes over the driving. And dang, if I could drive aggressively like her, I can hold my head up high and really yell 'Chicks Rule!'

Oh, and did I mention the bitchy prison warden? She's cold and I don't blame her.

The movie's not the greatest but it's good to watch in this day when most of us are too afraid to stand up for our own rights. We have reached a point when we'd rather bitch at the coffee shops and behind closed doors rather than facing up to certain things. Some risks have to be worth taking. If not, why bother bitching about it? If you're not willing to fight for what you think is right then walk away and quit moaning about it.

Anyway, I always did love a good revenge movie or book. Especially when it's not chick flick revenge. There are times when violence and blood and gore makes a vengeance worth doing.

So says the girl carrying a knife in her bag at all times.

For the past few months, I have had a lot of problems having dinner at the Club. Well, most of us know which Club I am talking about. But if you're not sure, feel free to come ask me.

Anyway, to make a long story short, tonight I figured out a way to eat there and still keep my food inside me. I have to specially request that the food be free of garlic and have less oil in it. So far, one hour later, my dinner is still my own. So I have triumphed in this sense.

The other thing I discovered while there was that someone in the Club found my blog entry about the fire and printed it as part of a book they've put together about the fire that burnt the place down. It took me by surprise because I was reading Kenny Sia's entries in there. I figured it's him so, of course, someone would add his entries in there. Then I turned the page and there was my entry. So, for the first time, my mom read one of my blog entries. I find this rather amusing.

Overall, today was a relatively good day, considering that I never see weekends as a good thing. I miss Shook too much on weekends. I have too much time to think and I usually end up thinking about him.

I.Want.To.Watch.Death Race!!

I don't care if it looks cheesy and uses an overused action formula.

It has cars, guns, violence and Jason Statham.

You need any other reason?

This is what happens when you try to be a smart-aleck and try to give your kids unusual names in the hopes of them standing out.

We'll see how they stand out when they get to school.

You may like the name but it's the poor kid who has to live with it!

First, I would like to say that anyone can correct me if I am wrong.

But, I am getting tired of people making such a big thing out of something we can do very little about.

For one, there was the price hike of petrol. We all know that we had it very good because our fuel was subsidised by the government. Now, just because the government, unlike some narrow-minded parties, need to think of the big picture and take away some of that subsidy, people start to say the Opposition might have a point and deserve their support.

Me? I'd rather go with the Devil I know than the Devil that might be more evil lurking outside my door with supposed good intentions.

Price hikes are a global phenomenon. I could say that any idiot can see that but I have seen some idiots blame it on the government. I suppose if you had an overinflated idea of the power the government has on the world market, then maybe you could be right.

But I just want to show this photo I found online. It is courtesy of mandj98 from his flickr site.

Now, if you can see the prices listed, remember it is in US Dollars. Compare that to what we have to pay, I saw we should be grateful. In fact, instead of bitching so much about it, we could try and do something constructive, like stay at home, spend time with the family or play with your dog or cat.

Politics is dirty and the players will do anything they can to confuse or deceive us. Let's try to be a bit smarter, people. Before you start throwing shit around like they do, let's just stop and think and evaluate both sides of the coin. And if you cannot decide for sure, then sit down, shut up and play some games or something.

All I need now is to wait until it gets to Sarawak somehow. As much as I do want to drink it, I believe in moderation nowadays. So I'm quite, quite happy to have Shook and Will finish the bottle (with maybe some help from me) and then I can skidaddle home and add that lovely mango decorated contoured bottle to my ever-growing collection.

After all, most of the Absolut bottles I do have in my room are empty and courtesy of various parties. Some of them I hardly had more than a sip of.

Most of the bottles I have I took because they were pretty. This is the only one I want because of the flavour.

I've already advertised the existence of this flavour to Rin and Gette and I think Rin is also running around asking other people to buy her a bottle.

I can wait until November to drink it. But at this point, even a sip would do.

I started the book Breaking Dawn on Sunday and finished it last night.

My verdict is still pretty much intact, as far as I am concerned. If you've read all 4 books, you'll find a repetition of plot and formula.

The only thing I did like was the baby. I've always been fascinated by the possibility of a vampire child. There was a romance author (can't remember her name but I do have her books somewhere) who first started this concept of a child conceived between a vampire and a human. And then there's Blade.

Then Breaking Dawn takes that same formula and uses it. The only thing the author changed, making it good and appealing, is the fact that the vampire child can and does communicate through touch. It's not absurd since both parents do have some sort of extra powers. I was attracted to the baby because she makes life so much easier for the parents. Despite her amazing growth rate, she prefers to 'talk' by touching and then communicating her thoughts while still in physical contact. I thought this woud be so much easier and less stressful than the usual screaming and crying and parents playing guessing games.

See? Despite what some people think, I am fully aware of the hardships of being a parent. You try to help raise two younger sisters and see if you can still be oblivious to it all.

And, like parents, I do realise that no matter what you try to do or instil in your child, it is very much up to the child to choose to learn. You could teach them all about manners and respect but if they think they know better, they will never learn. Even if you try to teach them to be fair and see both sides of the coin, if they want to be selfish and only see their point of view, what can you do? And if they choose to lie their whole lives away, it's their choice. I'm pretty sure most parents don't teach their children to lie and cheat.

So, you see, part of my point is that, there is only so much we can blame on our parents. Eventually, when our brains develop and we start thinking, isn't that what we are supopsed to do? Think?

So if a murderer gets caught and he says he is the way he is because his parents beat him as a child to discipline him, I tell you, even a psychologist might go 'Huh?'.

Anyway, before I digress further, the best thing I ever taught any of my sisters was what I taught Nuril. She started knowing how to massage from the age of 4 (when I came back from the US and needed someone to help ease my back pains). She's also the most reliable person in my house to help me bake and we've already got a plan ready for Raya cakes. She does have her blonde moments but luckily they do not outnumber her logical moments.

I did use to worry about who will help my mother when I move out of the house. But if I can get Nuril to take over the kitchen from me during Raya, I can safely say that my mom is pretty much in good hands.

I first heard of the Twilight series from Gette but I couldn't remember her take on it. Then I heard of it again from my students. Usually when it comes to my students, I'm just so happy they know what a book is for that I'm glad they're reading.

Then one of them decided to impress me with the storyline. All I could think of is 'You are trying to impress the one person who has been obsessed with vampires since she was younger than you are now and who even went to the extend of scheduling her classes at one point so that she could live like a vampire?!'

To be fair (which I always try to be), I picked up the first book and read it. Then, to be extra fair, I read the sequels.

What have I decided? It is pure and utter rubbish. First I felt like picking up the hardcover version and slamming it into the author's head. Then I felt like burning the books just so I could get rid of that spineless whim called the vampire hero. Then I wanted to just keep rotten tomatoes so I could throw it at the movie.

It would make a good young adult vampire romance if the author did not try to change the vampire mythology entirely. It is bad enough that we humans take much liberty with the myth as it is. Then some shmuck comes along and decides to change it to suit her own preference as well as try to influence poor stupid hormonal young adults into believeing her.

So maybe I'm a bit harsh. But even I draw the line at sparkling vampires. What the bloody hell?! It should be clear cut. Vampire = evil = darkness = hates light. What other defences would we have against the powers of evil if even the heavenly sunlight only makes them sparkle?! Fine, I'll forego the diamond ring my husband gave me and go hunt me down a vampire instead. Keep him in the front yard so all my neighbours can see my bling-bling vampire. Who needs precious stones anymore to impress the neighbours?

Due to my morbid curiosity and the need for endings and closure, I am now reading the fourth (and by no means the last (oh god, help us!) book in the series. Can the author be more graphic about the pain involved in being pregnant?! I already have my students half-afraid of being pregnant because they're afraid of the pain involved. I spent one hour last week telling them that if you love someone enough, you want to have their child and so the pain is worth it. And the way our bodies are built, we forget such pains very quickly. Humans heal and adapt.

But the last book has gone on about the pain of bearing a vampire child from page 145to 305 and still counting. Then the book says human childbearing is painful enough but a vampire child (which is mythologically even impossible due to the fact that vampires are dead!! So where is the sperm coming from?) causes even more pain. Apparently, the heroine is in agony even when the fetus stretches but the heroine morbidly insists on keeping the child. And what does the hero/father do? Stand around looking pale (paler than he already is being a vampire and dead?) and helpless. What happened to all the knowledge and wisdom he should have gained living an extra few hundred years? What was he doing? He claimed to be a paragon so womanising is out. He didn't do drugs, doesn't even smoke, doesn't even murder. He was waiting for the woman to come by and make him complete?! What a sap! And in one of the other books, he actually agreed not to go fight with his family to defend his family because the heroine begged him not to. Dude, where is your sense of honour? What honour is there in being pussy-whipped?

For a vampire, the hero is a spineless twerp who is pussy-whipped and has lost all sense of individuality and backbone. I think if he met Angel/Angelus, Angel would laugh at him so hard it would have bee embarrassing. Heck, this hero is an embarrassment to the male of his species.

So why am I reading the book if I hate it so much? It's the morbidness in me. I want to know how it ends. I want to know how more ridiculous it gets.

This is so that if I ever write a list of books never to read or books to recommend for comedy, I know which books to point out.

And the irony of it is that the fact that I'm ranting about it so much might make some people go out and look for the book. My recommendation is don't buy. Borrow instead. Quit giving the author money to finance more crappy stories.

Yesterday was another of those days when I really didn't want to be alone. Fortunately, Gette was there to rescue me from possible depression.

I always get down-in-the-dumps when Shook leaves home to go back to Bintulu. I try not to be but it tends to hit me at the worst possible moment. Like yesterday, after Gette very eagerly agreed to go watch X-Files and The Mummy, we went for the X-Files movie at noon. Right in the middle of the movie, which was by no means emotional or anything, I suddenly started to cry. I don't even know why. Maybe it was because I suddenly thought of Shook and wished he was there. Logically, I would not be crying but yesterday, I did.

Luckily, Gette realised why I needed to watch movies or be busy when she asked about Shook and I told her that he had just left for Bintulu. But since we had both agreed to go for X-Files at noon and then The Mummy at 7 p.m., we both felt adequately busy since we had to go for Words Worth the sequel at 4 p.m. anyway.

Words Worth is not a movie or anything but it's just a few people getting to together to read out what they have written. It could be a story or a poem. Yesterday, we had about 10 people reading so we used up the entire 2 hours we had scheduled just for the event.

It would have been a hectic day for me if I hadn't gone home after X-Files to take a nap. X-Files was good but only recommended for people who are fans of the show. If you aren't, don't bother really. The parts that fans squee at, you'd probably think 'So what?'. Also, contrary to most Hollywood movies today, X-Files had very little action. Most of the movie involved connecting the dots and wondering at how Mulder and Scully have aged. That is, right before you realise how old the movie makes you feel after you've connected the dots.

And what can I say about The Mummy? It's folloiwng the trend of all other sequels this year. You're either finally going home (like Rambo 4) or you've got a son to take on your legacy (like Indiana Jones). However, the O'Connell son seems to have developed a little issue with his parents. Which I find a little odd for a boy to have if you've been brought up the English way. The English aren't known to be touchy-feely like the Americans. So why did the writers give the son a complex about his parents?

Anyway, I enjoyed the movie for entertainment value. If you're looking for a deeper purpose this movie, forget it. It's just run and gun and yell and make bad jokes along the way. Also, don't bother trying to contemplate the historical factor. This movie is pure faction. Facts were distorted greatly to fit the fictional plot. I'll watch it again but only if for free.

After the movie, Iw ent phone and called Shook as usual. We talked for awhile then I went to sleep. Despite the reltively early night, I still feel sleepy this afternoon. No matter how much sleep I get, I still feel sleepy.

Just another thing about being pregnant, I suppose.