I had dinner at Room 205 on Sunday night with my girl friends. I have long realised that I need female friends to talk certain matters to which I just cannot do with guy friends. As understanding as the guy can be, he will never be fully able to understand the difficulties of being a girl or of being a daughter. If a guy gets angry with his parents, he has the option of yelling at them, holding a grudge until he dies or they die, he can hate them, he can ignore them, he can even move out! But girls have more difficulty doing these things. At the end of the day, a girl still needs her mother or her father for help and support.
So while I was out with the girls, we just laughed and poked fun at each other. Two of us there have boyfriends so we used the two singles as an excuse to go look at guys. Heck, we figured even if we can't touch, we can still look and maybe scout for guys for our single friends. I noticed that one of them has no flirting abilities at all and the other one claims she can't get drunk. So that's what brought up the idea of going to VA this Friday.
Anyway, one of them Stephanie has an awesome boyfriend who she'll most likely end up marrying. I've always enjoyed spending time with her because she's one of those truly beautiful women who is totally unaware of her own beauty. She's intelligent, witty, beautiful and very-down-to-earth. She's a pharmacist by qualification and she has problems just like the rest of us. Why did I add that bit in? This is because some people seem to be under the misguided impression that beauty is protection from problems. If you're pretty, you must be without problems. What a crock of shit! Talk about the Hollywood dream! The worst part about Stephanie is that she and her boyfriend look so perfect together. He is so clean cut and intelligent and understanding that he seems so perfect. But I do know that they argue and agree to disagree.
The funny thing is that all of us and every girl we know all agree that the best guy to have is the one who has nice short hair and a sense of humour. That night, out of the blue, Stephanie suddenly turned to me and said that I was lucky to find a nice Malay guy. My reply was 'Thank you, And he's only nice because he's not Malay. He's Melanau!'. I have yet to meet a 'nice Malay' guy. Am I being racist against my own race? Is that possible?
You see, I have some requirements in the guys I like. And Shook covers them all hence the reason why our relationship has lasted this long. I like guys who have a sense of humour, nice clean look (I'll never date a guy who has long hair because I don't like sharing my shampoo or spend time talking about split ends! So metrosexual!), intelligent, will not kow-tow to my famiy's status in society, know what they want in life and is prepared to go after it, will recognise a good opportunity when they see it, and most of all, will understand that a perfect relationship means an argument now and again. A boring relationship is one with no arguments at all and either one is too agreeable. And a boring guy is one who thinks only he is right and will not accept criticism or advice and does not know how to laugh at himself.
Most Malay guys I've met are either too serious, too tense, too low in self-esteem or they have an inferiority complex that they're trying to hide by being too full of themselves. Most of all, they lack the ability to laugh at themselves and refuse to admit they've made a mistake. I was once interested in Malay guys. But one kept telling me he thought I was too intelligent for him and the other lost his sense of humour after graduation. Imagine if I had married either one of them? It'd be a life full of either no arguments because I'm smarter or full of talk of work and no laughter. I'd be divorced within two years! Tenacious as I am, I'd be too bored to keep trying!!
The other thing I don't like is guys who act nice at first and then turn out to be assholes. You see, despite what some people think, we girls aren't stupid. We might fall for the nice veneer at first but even we eventually realise when a guy is a jerk. We each may have our reasons for staying with a jerk but we don't start out being happy to be with one. Besides, if you think about it, in the long run, these jerks don't stay happy for long and the girls who get them for a long time probably did something bad before in their lives. So they deserved each other. The good ones figure it out soon enough to cut their losses and run.
But I know of people who think that bad guys always get the girl. So they try to be bad. Sometimes I wonder if they realise that some bad guys only act bad but are actually very nice (like Shook and Will) and the real bad boys don't have very good lives for long. See? Karma does work! And I know of some guys who start out good but end up acting like assholes and jerks and pricks because they think it'll help them get laid! My wish to them? Good luck! And when you marry that girl you met at the bar or pub or club or rave party, don't wonder later why she won't stay at home or cook for you or care about what you think or feel or why she can't seem to string together one intelligent thought.
And to be fair, since this is not meant to be a guy-bashing post, I know of some girls who are assholes too. They are getting their just desserts even as we speak. And people wonder why I believe so strongly in karma. Because it's happened to me again and again.
And of all the guys I want to see end up with someone really nice, I am rooting for Jerome above all others. That is only because he deserves it. He's a very nice guy who has a beautiful sense of humour, who is comfortable with who he is and takes steps to better himself. He takes advice very willingly and remembers every advice anyone has ever given him. He's always first to admit he's been wrong and he learns from his own mistakes as well as his friends' mistakes. I know who would be great for him and he knows it too. I just need to keep asking if she's available now ;)
So while I was out with the girls, we just laughed and poked fun at each other. Two of us there have boyfriends so we used the two singles as an excuse to go look at guys. Heck, we figured even if we can't touch, we can still look and maybe scout for guys for our single friends. I noticed that one of them has no flirting abilities at all and the other one claims she can't get drunk. So that's what brought up the idea of going to VA this Friday.
Anyway, one of them Stephanie has an awesome boyfriend who she'll most likely end up marrying. I've always enjoyed spending time with her because she's one of those truly beautiful women who is totally unaware of her own beauty. She's intelligent, witty, beautiful and very-down-to-earth. She's a pharmacist by qualification and she has problems just like the rest of us. Why did I add that bit in? This is because some people seem to be under the misguided impression that beauty is protection from problems. If you're pretty, you must be without problems. What a crock of shit! Talk about the Hollywood dream! The worst part about Stephanie is that she and her boyfriend look so perfect together. He is so clean cut and intelligent and understanding that he seems so perfect. But I do know that they argue and agree to disagree.
The funny thing is that all of us and every girl we know all agree that the best guy to have is the one who has nice short hair and a sense of humour. That night, out of the blue, Stephanie suddenly turned to me and said that I was lucky to find a nice Malay guy. My reply was 'Thank you, And he's only nice because he's not Malay. He's Melanau!'. I have yet to meet a 'nice Malay' guy. Am I being racist against my own race? Is that possible?
You see, I have some requirements in the guys I like. And Shook covers them all hence the reason why our relationship has lasted this long. I like guys who have a sense of humour, nice clean look (I'll never date a guy who has long hair because I don't like sharing my shampoo or spend time talking about split ends! So metrosexual!), intelligent, will not kow-tow to my famiy's status in society, know what they want in life and is prepared to go after it, will recognise a good opportunity when they see it, and most of all, will understand that a perfect relationship means an argument now and again. A boring relationship is one with no arguments at all and either one is too agreeable. And a boring guy is one who thinks only he is right and will not accept criticism or advice and does not know how to laugh at himself.
Most Malay guys I've met are either too serious, too tense, too low in self-esteem or they have an inferiority complex that they're trying to hide by being too full of themselves. Most of all, they lack the ability to laugh at themselves and refuse to admit they've made a mistake. I was once interested in Malay guys. But one kept telling me he thought I was too intelligent for him and the other lost his sense of humour after graduation. Imagine if I had married either one of them? It'd be a life full of either no arguments because I'm smarter or full of talk of work and no laughter. I'd be divorced within two years! Tenacious as I am, I'd be too bored to keep trying!!
The other thing I don't like is guys who act nice at first and then turn out to be assholes. You see, despite what some people think, we girls aren't stupid. We might fall for the nice veneer at first but even we eventually realise when a guy is a jerk. We each may have our reasons for staying with a jerk but we don't start out being happy to be with one. Besides, if you think about it, in the long run, these jerks don't stay happy for long and the girls who get them for a long time probably did something bad before in their lives. So they deserved each other. The good ones figure it out soon enough to cut their losses and run.
But I know of people who think that bad guys always get the girl. So they try to be bad. Sometimes I wonder if they realise that some bad guys only act bad but are actually very nice (like Shook and Will) and the real bad boys don't have very good lives for long. See? Karma does work! And I know of some guys who start out good but end up acting like assholes and jerks and pricks because they think it'll help them get laid! My wish to them? Good luck! And when you marry that girl you met at the bar or pub or club or rave party, don't wonder later why she won't stay at home or cook for you or care about what you think or feel or why she can't seem to string together one intelligent thought.
And to be fair, since this is not meant to be a guy-bashing post, I know of some girls who are assholes too. They are getting their just desserts even as we speak. And people wonder why I believe so strongly in karma. Because it's happened to me again and again.
And of all the guys I want to see end up with someone really nice, I am rooting for Jerome above all others. That is only because he deserves it. He's a very nice guy who has a beautiful sense of humour, who is comfortable with who he is and takes steps to better himself. He takes advice very willingly and remembers every advice anyone has ever given him. He's always first to admit he's been wrong and he learns from his own mistakes as well as his friends' mistakes. I know who would be great for him and he knows it too. I just need to keep asking if she's available now ;)
11:31 pm |
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