I was out having dinner tonight with some friends that I have not seen in awhile. We talked as we usually do about lots of stuff ranging from computer games to cars to a whole lot of other things. Well, we didn't talk about girls since I was the only girl until another friend arrived with his girlfriend in tow. His girlfriend, though, is the quiet sort and doesn't talk very much anyway so I'm not too sure how she'd react to having guys talking about girls. However, we did talk about how some girls tend to dress very skankily but for a brief few minutes.
Anyway, while talking, we started talking about RPG or Role Playing Games. I know a lot of people like roleplaying but we're talking about the strictly-for-playing type. Not those other type.
Sheesh! I'm babbling...anyway, before I lose track of what I'm saying...here's my thought. You know how we have such things like communal blogs? Has anyone ever considered having an RPG blog? It'll be like having game sessions by email except that it's blogged. Some people might understand what I mean.
It'd be interesting, yes? I have no idea how to pull it off or start it. Like I said, it was just a random thought...
11:58 pm |
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I'm not going to bitch and moan and whine but I think I'll stick to the facts.
Fact is, I can bitch and moan and whine and I used to bitch and moan and whine. I did it so much that I got sick of hearing myself. But I haven't done that in awhile so I might be due for it soon.
People say that we humans are social creatures. That we need friends and companionship. But sometimes, it just gets so bloody hard that it might not even be worth the trouble. Sometimes I wonder why try so hard when everyone else either resists you or they just won't make the effort. I never did believe in beating a dead dog. I can be persistent to a point of foolishness but I don't beat dead dogs. Such a waste of time.
I've been thinking of some friends I used to have. You know how people say that birds of a feather flock together? Well, I used to hang out with two bird-brained people. Dumb blondes would be the phrase some people I know used on them. And quite honestly, while I was with them, I do believe my intellectual level dropped by almost 50%. I was incredibly self-centred and I lied a lot. It soon became a problem. So my solution was to walk away from the problem. I've always been good at that walking away thing. Seemed like a better idea than slugging it out and getting hurt later.
So I walked away from the lying 'friends' and have erased them from my list of friends and bummed them down to my list of acquaintances. I mean, I'd call an ambulance if I saw them dying at the side of the road but I won't hold their hands while they died. They don't mean that much to me anymore.
After all that, I stayed away from negative vibes. People do give out vibes, you know. I usually can detect negativity very easily. What bites is that I can be emphatic enough to absorb some of the vibes. Leaves an awful residue sometimes but hey! I've learnt to live with it. Negativity is tiring. Makes you cynical, mean and more than willing to blame others for your own reluctance.
Social negativity is tiring. So much simpler to just sleep it away or just give up entirely. Makes me want to close my eyes and never open them again. That would make it so much easier, wouldn't it?
5:37 pm |
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I was having a conversation with my colleague at work the other day about how some people think that it's a breeze to be a teacher. In fact, some people look down on teachers as they think teachers rate extremely low on the professional rankings. Yet, if you think about it, teachers make decisions that affect other people for the rest of their lives. I have talked to people who hate Mathematics, History, Geography, Science and even English because they had awful teachers in those subjects. However, this is almost a given situation if you go to public schools.
Out of sheer curiosity, I made a rough calculation. I teach 40 students 3 different subjects on any given day. I teach Social Studies, IGCSE Modern World History and IGCSE Business Studies. So let's say each student asks me a yes/no question. That's 1600 decisions I need to make. Why decisions? Each answer leads to other questions. I need to think 5 steps ahead of them to make sure my initial answer is of proper educational value. Now, what if the questions are of the yes/no, what if and why not varieties? Remember, these are private school students. Educators in these facilities are expected to cater to the individual needs. So for 40 students, that's a probability of having to make 2,560,000 decisions in one day. Other than a leader of a country, which other profession has to make these kinds of decisions in a split second at any one time? Decisions which could later affect the rest of their lives? If you know of any, let me know. I really need to feel good about this right now.
Now, I'm faced with these decision-making 5 days a week from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Those are normal working hours right? But remember again, I work in a private school. We cater to individual needs. We don't teach for 10 minutes then tell them to do the work and we sit down and relax. No, we have to walk around to make sure they get the individual attention. And when we have our non-contact time (or in public school terminology, free period), we have to run around preparing for the next lesson. In my school, this could be anything from going to the administrative office on the ground floor then running up to the 3rd floor IT lab with a brief stopover at the library on the 2nd floor. Then we have our break time. Teachers have yard duty where they have to take care of the other children in the school while the children are playing.
Try doing all this to your body and mind 5 days in a week. And the school holidays? I work during those school holidays. I'm writing comprehensive reports that the parents will read and be able to know the successes and failures that their children are facing in school. And since I can't come right out and say, "Your child is a lazy ass dumbo who refuses to listen to instructions and thinks he/she is God's great gift to Mankind.", I suppose I spend most of my time then being very, very creative and tactful.
So why do I do this? It's simple. I love my job. I love what I'm doing. Sometimes, a student who I'm about to give up on suddenly turns to me and explains why the Gross Domestic Product of his country is less than those in Malaysia despite his country having more rich people than we can ever dream of here. Or another student suddenly pipes up and says "Miss, wars are stupid, aren't there? Look what World War 1 did to Verdun or how World War 2 affected world relations." Or another students looks up from a model she is making of tsunamis and asks,"We have the technology to prevent so many people from dying, don't we, Miss? After all, we know why it happened."
On days like those, hope does spring eternal. And suddenly everything a teacher does has its place in the universe. The single joy of achievement outweighs every pain and hardship experienced. So why am I tired? I'm tired because not many teachers do their best for their profession. To them, it's just a job, not a passion. And sometimes...just sometimes...I wonder if they may have the right idea after all.
11:57 am |
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This is the rooster that stands majestically at the front entrance to the Holiday Inn here in Kuching. Considering that not many people would agree that a rooster can be majestic, I think this one deserves that title. It actually looks better in real life because the rooster (or any other names people want to use for it) is shimmeringly full of gold glitter.
It's almost a paradox to the feeling of being in a war zone due to the constant crack of firecrackers.
Anyway, roosters and firecrackers aside, I would like to wish everyone a Happy Chinese New Year today and a Happy Muslim New Year tomorrow. I make no sense. I'm not drunk unless you count eating too many oranges as a means of getting drunk.
'Nuff said. I'm going to go hunt for more oranges now. And then hunt for my cousin who has promised to help me with my mini iPod.
9:20 pm |
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My heartfelt thanks goes out to everyone like Mac, Nick, Jesziema and Amer who has supported and ranted with me about the issue of blog pirating. I think we might have even invented a new terminology here.
As of today, I was notified by Dee that the blog in question has been shut down. Xanga did it really nicely by saying that it has been shut down by the owner. I know that it was only because they finally realised how screwed up the person in question is.
As for me, my confidence in justice has been renewed and I'd also like to thank Xanga for their quick actions.
Ladies and gentlemen, the blogsphere is now safe again...
And I can almost hear someone somewhere saying "...for the moment." but probably only because I've been watching too much Justice League and Teen Titans with my sisters.
11:02 am |
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It has been brought to my attention that my blog entry titled "Thinking Too Much" dated December 27 was stolen without my permission or my knowledge. If it was paraphrased or anything, or if I was even acknowledged, I don't mind. But in this case, it was taken for her own and dated December 29.
Hmmm...what should I do? What can I do to children who think that modified Kancils are the best? Think Xanga will be pleased about this?
I'm not even sure how to feel about it. I could be flattered or I could be pissed off as all hell. But what can you expect from kids?
Edit: As of 5.31 p.m. I have emailed Xanga and asked them about their policies regarding this. I'll wait for their reply.
5:21 pm |
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