It is official. The old man in the chair has spoken. (Actually he's really the Keeper of the Rulers' Seal, Engku Tan Sri Ibrahim Engku Ngah)
Hari Raya (or Eid Mubarak, as the rest of the world knows it) is on Tuesday, 24th October 2006.
For some reason, I felt that this was the easiest and fastest fasting month ever. I figured I only felt this way because I was too stressed to realise I was not eating or sleeping properly, and because I was so stressed, my body 'malfunctioned' a little and I was able to not miss a single day of fasting. So I just worked through the entire fasting month and, as long as I'm occupied, I rarely notice very much else, really.
I have discovered many things over my years of fasting. When I get a respite from fasting, I find it very difficult to get back into the routine again. This usually leads me to start fibbing left and right and then missing a few extra days that I could have done without. There was the three years I was in the US when I didn't fast at all. Then there was one year when I used an acute case of gastric to miss another whole month. But believe me, for those years that I missed fasting, I felt that Hari Raya was a chore more than a celebration. The feeling was just not there. The excitement was gone and I was angsty more than festive.
But when I did fast and did my best, not so much to be the model child and sibling, but to do my best within the confines of my family, I realised that I was enjoying the festival so much more. I took the good with joy and ignored the bad entirely. I was even able to smile at my father's hypocritical family and almost (almost!) forgive them their transgressions towards him.
(But I'm not that pious. I'm not strong or able enough to forgive those ungrateful, two-faced leeches. There was a time I was willing to give up my immortal soul just to see them perish before my eyes. Now, I find that they're not worth my immortal soul. But I still relish their hardship and despair. My sisters never once went through what I did. So, although I have more reason to hate those people, I show it or say it less than my sisters do. I keep in it and wait for the wheel of fate to take over.)
Anyway, I digressed. As I was saying, or about to say, I once knew someone who hated our religion. He hated it with such passion that he wanted to leave it and join another religion. Then I asked him to think carefully if it is the teachings he hated or the people who interpreted or practised them. When he finally answered me, he said he hated more how people used religion for their own selfish cause. To which I asked then, which is bad then? The religion or the people who mix it up so much with tradition that the original good teachings get all screwed up?
So, my point it, we need to be honest with ourselves about why we hate certain things. Is it because it really is bad or because it shows us for what we really are? There is a fine line between the two. Those of us who can survive this life are those who are prepared to accept we just might be wrong and that we can do something about it. But it really does start with us. Michael Jackson aside, maybe - just maybe - if we are prepared to change ourselves first before we change other people and if we could stop blaming others for our own faults, we could be happier people living lives we've always dreamed of.
Do I sound like I'm preaching? I hope not. I'm the last person who has the right to do so. I'm just sharing what I think based on years of experience with a multitude of people in my life.
Oh, and another thought. People, who never seem to have anything good to say about our goverment administration, should walk out from under their coconut shells and visit other "advanced" countries like Egypt and France. From my experience in Egypt 3 years ago and my parents' experience in Paris, Zurich and Geneva just a few days ago, Malaysia is still much, much better in terms of its society and its administration. Those countries are years ahead of us and they still screw things up.
How are we supposed to be perfect?
As a final note, I would like to wish everyone a happy holiday and, to my Muslim friends everywhere, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri or Happy Eid Mubarak. And if you're here, feel free to come visit me anytime on the second day. On the first day, I'll be at Shook's, as I have been doing for the past 5 years.
Hari Raya (or Eid Mubarak, as the rest of the world knows it) is on Tuesday, 24th October 2006.
For some reason, I felt that this was the easiest and fastest fasting month ever. I figured I only felt this way because I was too stressed to realise I was not eating or sleeping properly, and because I was so stressed, my body 'malfunctioned' a little and I was able to not miss a single day of fasting. So I just worked through the entire fasting month and, as long as I'm occupied, I rarely notice very much else, really.
I have discovered many things over my years of fasting. When I get a respite from fasting, I find it very difficult to get back into the routine again. This usually leads me to start fibbing left and right and then missing a few extra days that I could have done without. There was the three years I was in the US when I didn't fast at all. Then there was one year when I used an acute case of gastric to miss another whole month. But believe me, for those years that I missed fasting, I felt that Hari Raya was a chore more than a celebration. The feeling was just not there. The excitement was gone and I was angsty more than festive.
But when I did fast and did my best, not so much to be the model child and sibling, but to do my best within the confines of my family, I realised that I was enjoying the festival so much more. I took the good with joy and ignored the bad entirely. I was even able to smile at my father's hypocritical family and almost (almost!) forgive them their transgressions towards him.
(But I'm not that pious. I'm not strong or able enough to forgive those ungrateful, two-faced leeches. There was a time I was willing to give up my immortal soul just to see them perish before my eyes. Now, I find that they're not worth my immortal soul. But I still relish their hardship and despair. My sisters never once went through what I did. So, although I have more reason to hate those people, I show it or say it less than my sisters do. I keep in it and wait for the wheel of fate to take over.)
Anyway, I digressed. As I was saying, or about to say, I once knew someone who hated our religion. He hated it with such passion that he wanted to leave it and join another religion. Then I asked him to think carefully if it is the teachings he hated or the people who interpreted or practised them. When he finally answered me, he said he hated more how people used religion for their own selfish cause. To which I asked then, which is bad then? The religion or the people who mix it up so much with tradition that the original good teachings get all screwed up?
So, my point it, we need to be honest with ourselves about why we hate certain things. Is it because it really is bad or because it shows us for what we really are? There is a fine line between the two. Those of us who can survive this life are those who are prepared to accept we just might be wrong and that we can do something about it. But it really does start with us. Michael Jackson aside, maybe - just maybe - if we are prepared to change ourselves first before we change other people and if we could stop blaming others for our own faults, we could be happier people living lives we've always dreamed of.
Do I sound like I'm preaching? I hope not. I'm the last person who has the right to do so. I'm just sharing what I think based on years of experience with a multitude of people in my life.
Oh, and another thought. People, who never seem to have anything good to say about our goverment administration, should walk out from under their coconut shells and visit other "advanced" countries like Egypt and France. From my experience in Egypt 3 years ago and my parents' experience in Paris, Zurich and Geneva just a few days ago, Malaysia is still much, much better in terms of its society and its administration. Those countries are years ahead of us and they still screw things up.
How are we supposed to be perfect?
As a final note, I would like to wish everyone a happy holiday and, to my Muslim friends everywhere, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri or Happy Eid Mubarak. And if you're here, feel free to come visit me anytime on the second day. On the first day, I'll be at Shook's, as I have been doing for the past 5 years.
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