Still Being Random

I didn't get any bonus or anything yet but I figured it was time to pamper my car. Especially after all the hardship and grief she has gone through.

So this morning, I went out and got a new car audio player installed and a new car alarm system. What's the point in having a very nice audio player but the security system is crappy?

The player I bought plays DVD, CD, MP3 and MP4. It plays VCDs too but I don't have a screen for it yet so I don't see the point in that function. It also comes with a remote control and a nice, blinky (but not too ah bengish) LCD display. It hasn't got one of those well-known, overrated, expensive brands but it comes with a one-year warranty. I like it so far.

Since the player was so pretty and neat, I figured I better work on the car's security system as well. So I bought a new alarm system that comes with a shock and motion sensor. It also reminds me when I have not locked my car, locks the door when I press the brakes and locks down the car when I forget to lock it. I think it also kills the engine when the remote is not used to unlock the car. What I do know is that when the alarm goes berserk and the remote is not used to switch it off, it locks the doors and the engine will refuse to start. It's cool so far but I'm going back next month to get what the shop owner calls an immobiliser. So that's my Raya gift to myself. Haha!

Overall, I'm happy with what I got done today. At least I can go out tonight without overly worrying about my car. Yay! I can't imagine how people can go out and not care what happens to their vehicles.

I detest hypocrisy.

I detest it no end because I have been on the receiving end of it before.

But I detest it now not because it is being done to me but because it is there in my face.

While we are promoting unity and Malaysianess and all that, the stupid television networks dish out 'malaynised' english words because they're too bloody lazy to think beyond their next paycheck.

Tonight I heard the words 'Dengan kejadian itu, Abrahah telah mendapat mesejnya.' on TV3!

Mesej?! Where the hell did that come from?! What the fuck happened to 'pesanan' or 'pengajaran' or whatever word it is that could be used in this context?

Where the hell then is our "Melayu"ness if we keep taking english words for our own?

Stupid idiots who talk through their bloody corrupted noses!

Someone who considers herself my closest friend showed only too well how little she knows me by asking me something someone who knows me really well would know better than to ask.

She saw my Friendster picture and asked, 'Since when did you become a vampire?'

And I know her well enough to know that she was asking this in a sarcastic, thoughtless way.

So my reply was "I don't like putting photos of myself online because I may never know who might use it to come after me."

She said nothing else in rpely to that but the next time I logged into Friendster, I noticed she had changed her picture too.

Didn't it even occur to her before I said it?!

I was catching up on a few movies that I've been curious about.

One was Aquamarine. It's a nice summer flick about teenage best friends and a mermaid. I found it to be a very relaxing film. I didn't have to think about the plot and try to figure out the ending. I know how it would end. I just had to sit and enjoy the no-brainer show. But the mermaid bit was very enjoyable. And the popular guy that every girl in the show is after reminded me a lot of Zack throughout the whole movie. It's probably the way he talked.

I also watched An American Haunting. It's based on a true story. I've read the story before and it never ceases to scare me. The movie, though, doesn't quite catch the horror of the real thing, but it comes pretty close. One thing about western movie makers is that they try too hard to make the special effects special that it takes away the scare factor.

I finally managed to watch High School Musical. After constantly missing it on Astro, I decided to get the DVD just to see what all the noise was about. I can see now why the students at school are nuts about it. It's the modern, Disney version of Grease. And we all know what a sensation Grease is.

I also finally got round to watching Stormbreaker. It's a movie based on the book by Anthony Horowitz. This story is just one written around the time when it was cool to be a spy and even cooler to be a teenage spy. My students like the guy who plays Alex.

And how did I find so much time to watch movies? It's only possible because I ignored all my work that is piling up on my floor and decided only to answer certain phone calls. I was also home most of the time and, since it's fasting month, I don't have to go through the tedious regime of eating at certain hours. This exercise actually gives me more time to do what I want to do.

But my procrastination is over. I now have to get back to my work. Today may be my day off but I still have to work at home - yearbook and reports and grading, ahoy!!

Have you ever listened to a particularly 'emo' song and allowed it to affect your emotional state of mind?

I'll be first to admit that this happens to me on a fairly usual basis. I let myself be affected by the songs I listen to when I'm particularly stressed out by my work. Like now. It has become so bad that I feel like I'm on a really severe mood swing. My iPod is programmed to shuffle the music. So when I go from Jewel to the Top Gun soundtrack to Jem and the Holograms to Bon Jovi to Melly Goeslaw to Jason Lo and then to Marc Anthony, believe me, it's a roller coaster ride. I literally go from wanting to declare undying, eternal love and devotion to Shook to wanting to jump around and up and down to recanting my undying love and then cuddling up to Shook.

If it so happens that I'm at school and plugged into my iPod while doing some work and having breakfast at the same time, let's just say any of my students who happen to walk into the classroom usually sees a variety of facial expressions on my face. But lovely as my students are, they put it down to my being stressed and just leave me be.

My students are a beautiful group of people. They've seen me go from stressed out irritability to laughing high back down to moody. And they know when to stay away. If only some adults would show the same intelligence.

About 6 more weeks to the end of term and I have papers to grade, a yearbook to complete and reports to finalise. Above that, my Toastmasters Club (in which some key members can't seem to grasp the fact that I'm about to shoot myself from stress!!) keep trying to heap more work on me. While they do what?! Putz around town doing nothing! Good thing is, I actually said 'NO!' the other night and derailed one particular key member. Hey! I've been doing a better job at promoting the club than he has! Putz!

Anyway, in about 4 weeks, it'll be Raya and about 2 weeks after that, my school is moving venue, in which we all have to up and move stuff over to the new building. Then, a week after that, I will be free! Free to pursue my own activities. Like play some PS2 games, learn how to work some new software (maybe some desktop publishing or web designing), bake some cakes I've been dying to try out or maybe cook something and maybe I'll allow Shook to get me started on some exercises. Or maybe I'll just let Yodie loose and chase her around the yard. We'll see.

Right now, all I'll be doing is work through my work hours, wait for the bell to go at 4.00 p.m., get home, freshen up, sit and watch some TV for awhile, then it's back to work again. If I'm not at Shook's, I'll be at my computer or my laptop trying to finish more work. If I am at Shook's, sometimes I bring my laptop with me and work anyway. So the next time I hear anyone complaining how tired they are from work that actually HAS a clock-out time, I'm going to not talk to them at all for the rest of the year! Putz!

Some time ago, I was intrigued by a new shampoo from Rejoice. It's called Fruity with the tagline of Smooth. If you watch the advertisement on TV, you're never quite sure what the shampoo is all about. At least for me. For all I know, it could be just some shampoo with a fruity scent.

The ad was also quite generic. It starts out with this girl whose mother is helping her with her silky smooth hair. Then the girl goes out and the parents look disappointed because she's forgotten their anniversary. When she gets them to the restaurant, she reveals to them that her surprise is for them on their anniversary. All the while, the focus is on her silky straight smooth hair.

This commercial is generic because every shampoo seems to be advertising silky, smooth, straight hair.

It was only after I bought the shampoo that I found out that it's for unruly/ flyaway hair. When I tried looking for it online, I found out that in China, the shampoo is called Rejoice Fruity Anti-Frizz Shampoo. Now why couldn't we have just used that name and not tried to be too creative about it? At the end of the day, we've achieved nothing more than a passing glance from consumers. What's wrong with advertising anti-frizz shampoo when everyone is advertising straightening shampoo? It makes it different so therefore worthy of attention.

I don't get it!

And, by the way, with my wavy, unruly hair that makes me look like everyday is a bad hair day, this Rejoice shampoo works quite well. My hair is actually manageable. It actually works better than Sunsilk, which I do admit is good but I get weirded out by the girls smiling at me in the bathroom. I actually turn the bottles around. Can a shampoo be any more feminist? And I don't use Dove because it makes my hair too oily which makes it heavy and flat.

So, I alternate now between the girly shampoo and the fruity one - one for its mildness and the other for the anti-frizz

Other than the fact that I've signed up with Vox (thanks to Gette!), I was randomly searching YouTube and found these two videos.

Actually, I knew of Torn from my students and I found out about the New Numa video while searching for Torn. But Torn is hilarious and it's awesome. The New Numa song is still catchy but more than just a videocam clip.

And while I'm at it, does anyone have a copy of Torn on mp3?

Sometimes, it's good to sleep with the devil. And if you can't do that, at least you should get engaged to the devil's advocate.

Shook has always been able to voice out what I am usually reluctant to say. This happens most of all when I'm frustrated with something but don't want to say it out because saying it would be admitting that it frustrates me. Considering that I find inconsiderate people especially frustrating, I usually find him saying a lot for me.

One of the things I have to admit though is that my need (yes, it's a need! I take part in activities like Toastmasters and in my alumni association to stop me from feeling depressed. It also puts me in touch with other human beings which I love doing)...my needs are starting to overwhelm me. Between my work (which has no clock-out hours), Shook, my own family and the people I have in my other activities, I'm starting to feel as if I'm doing everything on my own. Even when I am crying out for help, it's either everyone is deaf or they're pretending they don't care. Or maybe they're not pretending. Maybe they just don't care.

So I joined these associations to keep myself sane since I 'feed' off helping other people. But when I am being consumed by it all, I believe it's time to bail out.

At this moment, I've decided to leave these associations. I'm going to sit on my resignation letters until the school holidays. If I still feel frustrated by the lack of support from my committee members, I will send in the letters to both associations.

My priorities have changed. Other than my family, I now have to put Shook first. Guys like that. I don't blame them. I'd like it if someone put me first too.

To be put first above all, I have to put him first above all first. Maybe then he'll do the same for me.

So if you can't sleep with the devil, go find the devil's advocate. I'm going to marry one of them.

I don't normally use words like 'bastard' or 'son of a bitch' because it's hardly ever really the parents' fault if their offspring turns out to be a jackass or a slut. Besides, most people I hate have really nice, misunderstood (by them!) parents. There is one person (only one!) I know though who is a bigger fucker than his father but that's another story.

Anyway, one indication that I am in bitch mode is that I don't hold my punches and I just let whatever I feel and think slide off my tongue and hit the open air.

On Sunday, I walked into Shook's room and said one long, frustrated sentence. "I just got pointed at and scolded by a girl whose brother I hooted at to avoid splashing his brains on my windshield because he was playing in the middle of the road and she'll probably grow up to be the slut she came from anyway!"

And I think Shook's mom might have heard me. I didn't realise she was in the wet kitchen.

But, overall, that was one excellent rant! The sentence was a piece of work, if I may say so myself!

Ever since buying Azreen's birthday presents, I've been on this reckless spending spree. I know it's supposed to be therapeutic yet I don't feel any more rejuvenated than when I first started out.

My reasoning for this would be 1) I'm suffering from PMS, 2) it's that time of the year for work, 3) I've been on an emotional rollercoaster for a month now and 4) I'm feeling a major case of cabin fever and I need to leave the state.

The irony of one of those reasonings is that I hardly get to see anyone to feel the need to get away from them. I guess it's partly a depression from being cut off. The only friend I see on a regular basis now is Gette. Yet there is this fear that, as soon as I admit that, other people will suddenly want to see her as well.

Whacked reasoning, I know. But who ever said a down-in-the-dumps person is logical anyway?

The other thing I'll be now is bitchy. I'll be less tolerant, and more critical. I'll be like House, who is only fun to watch when you're not on the receiving end of a similar treatment.

On that note, have you ever noticed how so many people know so well how to dish it out but get all self-righteous when they are at the receiving end? Almost fascinating. Definitely laughable.

Anyway, I bought the original Serenity DVD as well as Night Watch. And I finished my entire Season 2 of House. Maybe I'll go get Numb3rs next.