Sometimes, it's good to sleep with the devil. And if you can't do that, at least you should get engaged to the devil's advocate.

Shook has always been able to voice out what I am usually reluctant to say. This happens most of all when I'm frustrated with something but don't want to say it out because saying it would be admitting that it frustrates me. Considering that I find inconsiderate people especially frustrating, I usually find him saying a lot for me.

One of the things I have to admit though is that my need (yes, it's a need! I take part in activities like Toastmasters and in my alumni association to stop me from feeling depressed. It also puts me in touch with other human beings which I love doing)...my needs are starting to overwhelm me. Between my work (which has no clock-out hours), Shook, my own family and the people I have in my other activities, I'm starting to feel as if I'm doing everything on my own. Even when I am crying out for help, it's either everyone is deaf or they're pretending they don't care. Or maybe they're not pretending. Maybe they just don't care.

So I joined these associations to keep myself sane since I 'feed' off helping other people. But when I am being consumed by it all, I believe it's time to bail out.

At this moment, I've decided to leave these associations. I'm going to sit on my resignation letters until the school holidays. If I still feel frustrated by the lack of support from my committee members, I will send in the letters to both associations.

My priorities have changed. Other than my family, I now have to put Shook first. Guys like that. I don't blame them. I'd like it if someone put me first too.

To be put first above all, I have to put him first above all first. Maybe then he'll do the same for me.

So if you can't sleep with the devil, go find the devil's advocate. I'm going to marry one of them.