Tuesday
I had a whole post ready about being extremely frustrated the past few days.

Then I read it again and thought about how it would affect some people. So I deleted it.

I'm suppose I can't help how I am. I used to read the Bible like it was a novel when I was young. Then I read the Quran and its translation when I was learning to read it. It took me 3 years to master everything from the very basics to the last page; holy book and translations. And I had 2 superb religious teachers; the Ustazah I had in Secondary school who I still hold in the highest esteem and my uncle, my father's older brother.

Between them, they always reminded me to always treat others the way I want to be treated.

In the world we now live in, this is not an easy task to do. Many claim they try but they fail. Sometimes I see them claim to try but I never see them actually try to do. What I do see them do is blame others for their failure to do.

But I do try. Others know I try so I must really be doing it. I try to be nice and understanding. Most of all I try to be a friend.

Sometimes, it hurts me when the ones I try to be a friend to either don't appreciate it or don't return the favour. In fact, they belittle me and hurt me.

Sometimes, we make fun of the idea of respect. But we also need to remember that when we show no respect for others, it only means we deserve no respect from others either.

I'm not religious at all but I don't turn my back on basic religious teachings.


But I do try to be the best I can be. I try not to be cynical or caustic or hurtful. I try to be empathic about and with other people. And I know I will get hurt when they don't take my feelings into account.

But I have been frustrated the past few days. I've been hurt by a frivolous word or action and angry at myself for feeling the hurt. Because I understand why it was said or the situation in which the words were said and the deed was done, I kept quiet. And, in the process, hurt and frustrated myself even further.

And through all this, only one thought came to mind last night. I miss talking to Shook. I miss being able to spend time with him. I miss lots of things that we used to do together. Maybe I'm being selfish (which is why I didn't get a boyfriend until I was sure I could handle the implications of getting one) but I miss having Shook laugh at something that had nothing to do with being snide or belittling someone else.

So, yeah...I'm frustrated.
11:15 pm | Category: | 0 comments

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Say what you will. You have the right. But then I have the right to say what I want to as well. If you like what I say, feel free to return. If you don't like what I say, nobody's twisting your arm to read. Feel free to move on and never darken these doorsteps again.