Still Being Random

I went Chinese New Year visiting on the first and second day. On the first day, I only got as far as Arthur, Ben and Rozanna's houses. Yesterday, I went to my Toastmasters friends' houses. In the evening, Azreen and I went to Henrick's place at Kesuma Resorts. Oy! That place is so beautiful that I could hardly believe my school is going to move there!

Anyway, other than to wish everyone I know a Happy Chinese New Year, I also want to announce to the world:

I wanted to make a little e-card thing to post here but I got distracted by too many going-ons. But I'll probably get round to it eventually and I'll email it to Art.

Also, I met Alex at the Hilton today. That guitarist Alex who went to KL to find himself or something like that. Macmillan's Alex. Anyway, he suddenly said that he had heard that I was married. That was funny. So I told him Art got married, not me. But he was shocked to hear Art was married. So I had a rather good laugh.

Your in-depth results are:
Gryffindor - 12
Ravenclaw - 12
Hufflepuff - 11
Slytherin - 8

I am interested in theology but I understand that Shook is better at it since he seems to have this age-old interest in it.

But I was reading this a moment ago and it's fascinating. Maybe I should dig up a Bible somewhere and read it. I'm sure my aunt has one. I'll wait for my cousin to get home before I go raiding his house.

He'll be home tonight at 7.40p.m. for the Chinese New Year festival. Yay!! My big brither's home!!!!

If you have been watching NTV7, did you ever notice that in the trailer/advert for Killer Instinct, the network actually spells it Killer Insticnt?

And did you also notice that TV3's grammar and subtitles are just shot to hell nowadays?

How can they be so careless? It only makes them look like fools. And we're the ones laughing! Haha!

Last night, while I was at Shook's house, Yodie got all attention-seeking and decided to tease me.

I chased her around the house for awhile then I went and hid from her. As she ran by, I jumped out and frightened her fur into puffing and she ran into Shook's room to hide under the bed. Later, she ran out and disappeared from sight. Now, I don't live in that house and, despite being there very often, I don't know Yodie's hiding places and ambush points.

So what happened when I walked out to find her? This huge puffball comes hopping out of the laundry room/wet kitchen right next to Shook's room and runs straight into my foot, scaring the bejeebers out of me!! I shrieked, she ran and Shook laughed his eyes out! So, I sent out an sms to Azreen reporting about her ambushing cat.

Then, while I was watching American Idol, I realised that the metal flowers on the railing of the stairs near the TV could actually be spun. So I was doing that when Yodie came to me. I showed it to her and it kept her occupied for all of ten minutes, during which time she was doing some stretching and precarious standings to reach the flowers to spin them.

Oh, did I also mention she finished off an entire fried chicken breast? Yodie's a great dinner companion. She finishes off the larger portion of my food, therefore helping me to cut down on eating. Considering that I eat mainly to stop myself from bloating up with air (I was told it's a gastric thing but I'm too stubborn to get it cured) I'm rather glad Yodie's around to help me finish off pieces of chicken that I'm usually not in the mood to eat. But hey, chicken is healthier than rice and instant noodles, huh? Because instant noodles would be my other alternative.

So anyway, when Azreen came home just before midnight to change, I was too tired to move and Yodie was merely waiting for me to leave so that she could try and sneak out.

Heights and me don't go too well together.

I won't go up this even if you pointed a gun to my head! Call me whatever you want! No way in hell!!

I really meant to work on repairing my blog this weekend.

But I got caught up with breakfast, a meeting and dinner on Saturday that I had to time no work on anything. I didn't even make spare keys for my students' lockers!

And today, my dad drove us to Pasir Pandak just to buy durians then we had lunch at Santubong Resort. Halfway home, Shook called and I didn't hear the phone. So I called him back when we got home and he came and got me half an hour later.

It's now 11.17 p.m. and I'm too tired to work on it.

So I apologise. I will try this coming weekend, which is a 6 day break for me.

Tomorrow, I might put up a picture of the stuff I got for my birthday :)

I would like to publicly thank Jerome for putting together my bash last night. That was the first time I actually ate at a Pizza Junction establishment despite having contributed to its success since the day it opened its first establishment at Jalan Kulas.

Thank you also to Jerome, Nick and Ben for the presents although Ben's little marriage figurines were like a huge neon sign telling Shook and me to get our butts into gear and get married already!! Haha!

Ben, if you're reading this, one event at a time, dear, one event at a time. But I was serious about the open invitation to you and Yi Fang to my Toastmasters Club. Looks like I might be stuck there for a while since I got promoted. Yi Fang, I enjoy having you around because you really light up the event with your silent smiles and quiet shakes of your head and the way you enjoy how we make fools of ourselves in public. You're great for Ben and I can see that. You two take care, okay?

And Nick, almost cheesy how you give me a Honda key chain just because I drive a Honda! Very funny, dude! But I'll use it.

Jerome, until this moment in time and after 2 dreams, I still have no idea what exactly your gift did in a previous life and I still am not sure what to do with it. Despite all the demonstrations of what it could be used for, I'm not sure they were applicable to me! :) But it's unique and I love it.

Azreen and Mac, thank you for being there. Your presence were fun, as always, and entertaining. Yes, Chili Mac? I know lah. You prefer Adonis Mac. Haha! Yes, it's going to haunt you for a while yet.

Gette, you'll never know how I feel that you showed up despite being so sick. I am eternally grateful. You're going into my books as a great friend. I hope you feel better soon.

Shook, you try my patience sometime and I know I try yours. But I am still in love with you and I love you a lot. Thank you.

And oh, I got purple Post-Its last night! So cute! So Rube! Haha!

Someone in Hollywood finally found an excellent brain and put it to awesome use!!

They are making the movie! They are making the movie!! I have said it before and I'll say it again. "They should make the movie!"

And now they will!!!!! Yay!! Okay...a loud, high-pitched, ear-piercing squee or two is in here somewhere!! And a bounce or two..maybe three. Hee! Hee!

It better be good or I'll actually send a nasty email out!

I believe the reason that my parents are not reluctant to buy me relatively expensive things for my birthday is that I don't screw up my car and I take care of my things so that they last a long time.

Hmmm....maybe some people should consider this more seriously.

I may not be smart but I do have some common sense, which is more than I can say for some.

I actually downloaded Firefox just so I could see what the problem was.

I'm not sure what's wrong with it right now, but what I do know is that the way it looks on Internet Explorer is exactly how I want it to look. For some reason, Firefox makes the boxes in the side bigger. Even the words per line is skewed.

Anyway, I'll work on it this weekend.

Right now, I have some minutes to type out and email out and then I have to prepare for tomorrow's classes.

As it is, I've procrastinated enough for one evening :)

I got two (or was it more?) complaints about some people not being able to see my blog very well.

So I'm trying to figure out the problem here. If you can help, please, by all means, tell me. I'm curious, to say the least.

I use the 1024x768 resolution. Also, I use Maxthon, which as the website describes, is "based on the Internet Explorer browser engine (your most likely current web browser) which means that what works in the IE browser will work the same in Maxthon tabbed browser..."

So if anyone has any idea what is going on, please let me know. So far, it's been Marita and Headliner who seem to be having the problems.

I read this the last time Gette wrote about it but it didn't hit me then.

This morning it did. Some of them might be that group of people Shook, Jerome, Azreen and I overhead at Orange that one night. They were talking about how good blogging was and the two girls sounded like salesgirls for Wikipedia!

Now that I think about it, I'm chuckling like a mad witch because I just can't seem to stop!

Kids, I tell ya! This is what happenes when you give some measure of power to kids!!

PS: Maybe we should try and drop in just to check out who the 'new' bloggers are ;)

I was watching another Malay drama series tonight while waiting for Shook to get off his computer so that we could go buy dinner.

For a series that's geared to promote peace and discourage terrorism, it's poorly scripted and the plot is so full of holes that a B-57 could most probably fly through it!

It reminded me of those annoying moments when people pretend to be interested in what you're saying but they never look at you while you speak so you end up feeling irritated anyway? Then you don't bother looking at them when they talk just to give them a taste of their own medicine and you can feel the annoyance flowing from them coming at you? Yep...that moment.

I still can't get over how the husband can drive around town with his ex-girlfriend just because she is interested in converting to Islam and he sees it as innocent but when his wife is seen with a guy friend to accept a wedding present from said guy friend, it's okay for the husband to think she's cheating on him and he does not speak to her about it but tortures her with his silence. Also, if he is as pious as he claims to be, how did he conveniently forget that 1) as a husband, he is supposed to teach his wife the right way of doing things and 2) it's a sin not to talk to a fellow Muslim for more than 3 days?!

It's a very contradictory show written by what I can only classify as a third-rate writer.

Also, I think Shook was enjoying the fact that I was ranting at the show, probably because he thought it was dumb as well. But it's a perverse sense of fun to watch a show you just hate and be able to rant about it, knowing that you're justified in doing so.

On another note, renovations for my room might begin in March. And while planning where everything goes, I have to admit to being weak enough to include Shook's presence in the whole plan of things. Also, I am getting the phone I want for my birthday. But it may not be what everyone's been expecting me to ask for.

My mom is in one of her moods. This usually happens when she has been travelling extensively or when she's been busy running around. And, as usual, who gets the blame for everything? We do. Well, my second sister does not because she does what she does best - hide in her room. Same sister who enjoys complaining that she is never told anything at any time. So, tell me again, how I am supposed to tell anything when she either does not listen or refuses to join the family get-togethers?

As for my mom, it's time to do what I always do. I either do my work in my room, go out or tell her that she is the reason we're not talking to her. There's no win situation right now because it's a true case of damned-if-I-do-and-damned-if-I-don't. So I behave as my father does. We just take it in and let them spew and hurt everyone without thought. Then we quietly move on. Does it make us stronger? Maybe. But it's times like this that I know I don't want to fall pray to the rule of: Want to know what the girl will be like when she's older? Look at her mother!

So when my mom is in her unreasonable mood, I walk away. Let her simmer down then come back and pretend nothing happened. The way I adjust to it is that she's old and the old do have certain perks and luxuries we are not allowed until we are that old.

So think you have issues? You're not the only one.

I met a guy tonight. He's very nice and he works/studies (?) in Australia. He's also Chinese with an uncharacteristically great sense of humour. He's got a nice body (Okay, so I was looking! So sue me!). It was one of those look-great-in-blue-jeans-and-white-shirt nice bodies.

Anyway, after he sat through some speeches and had to sit through my workshop speech, he came up to me and said he loved my speech. Then he asked me if I ever considered going into stand-up comedy. He even suggested I should participate in the Fringe Festival.

I can give speeches, I can talk, I can criticise, I can be caustic. But the last thing I ever saw myself as was a stand-up comedian. Then this guy I have never met before tells me I should join a worldwide festival that he describes as 'rolling on the floor, tears from your eyes style comedy'.

Even throughout talking to me, he said I was funny. When I claimed I was not funny, he said the good ones never do claim to be funny. They just are.

I was torn between WTF and 'Wow! I'm good!'

It didn't help that everyone told me my speech is the best they've ever heard despite it being the same notes and materials used by many before me.

It's a good end to a depressing day.

Have you ever woken up in the morning (or whenever some of you wake up) and had a sudden feeling of doom?

Have you ever suddenly realised that all that you've done might come crashing down on you?

Have you ever suddenly realised that the more you try to get closer to someone the more they pull away, not because of something you've done but because of something you are not?

Have you ever felt that you're losing the person you felt was worth taking a risk for because you're not as exciting as some other people he knows?

Have you ever been told that you're trying to change him when he is the one trying to change you or when he is the one who has changed?

Have you ever felt so helpless in the realisation that you're losing him and there's nothing you can do about it?

Have you ever felt that nothing you've done is ever right?

If you have, then you know how I feel right now.

It is only the second week of school and already I'm tired. Ironically, the fatigue is not from work but from my extra-curricular activities.

I am the vice-presidenf of my secondary school alumni. At the same time, I'm also the secreatry of my toastmasters club.

Both tire me out because both either have a self-righteous committee member or people who seem to believe they work more than I do because I am only a lowly teacher. I am lowly paid but it's not an easy job. There's a difference.

One association has members who can't and won't move unless I push them constantly. And their excuses usually run along the lines of either 'You young people got more energy and time' or 'Your work hours are not as long as mine. Besides, you get holidays.'

Then the other association is full of self-righteous people who don't do their part yet criticises other people for not doing much. Then some of them decide to prove how self-sacrificing they are by joining 101 associations and then saying they can do it so why can't we? Hello! I have a life! Unlike you, you loser!

And I've told both sets of people that when school starts, I am more likely to be mentally and physically drained. So don't expect me to be in top form when I spend the night before already planning the next day!

But do they listen? No! The self-righteous go deaf and more self-righteous while the other continues to criticise.

This is the disease of Malaysia right now. People have been conditioned to expect things to be done for them. When they try to do something on their own, they get shot down. On the other hand, those who find that they can't get things done unless they do it themselves, end up doing everything while someone else gets credit.

Either way, nobody but the leeches win. And people wonder why depression and obesity are becoming major problems here.

On a final note, I am quitting both associations this year because I can't stand it anymore. I'm walking away while I'm still sane and Shook has not dumped me for complaining so much!

While waiting for Reign of Fire on TV3, I was stuck watching a local soap opera called Sembilu Kasih. This show is made by the same guy who did all the Sembilu series and movies.

As luck would have it, this episode happened to deal with a newly married woman's jealousy. As always there were two sides to the story. On one hand, the husband is a music composer who is on a touring promotion with the singer he writes music for. I fail to see why a composer has to join the tour but, let's just say the scriptwriter has taken some poetic license on this. Now, the composer husband happens to be rather good-looking (if you like men like that!) and the singer happens to have the hots for him. How hot? She gets jealous when he's on the phone with his new wife!

Now, on the other hand, the wife is the daughter of this multi-millionaire developer. I think he's a developer because he was taking about a construction plan with his son at breakfast. Now, the wife once tried to call the husband who is in Johor. She tried all day but he didn't answer. When he did finally call her, he explained that his phone had broken after he dropped it earlier. Somehow, the wife found out that he was using the singer's phone, which the singer had loaned to him since she has two phones.

To clarify, I have been in situations where I have tried to call Shook all day. Sometimes, he doesn't answer or reply my calls or sms. When I do get a hold of him finally, rationale dictates that I be calm and maybe not even bother asking why he didn't reply or answer. In fact, I'm usually relieved he even picks up the phone. So nobody can say I don't understand. Rationale also dictates that if I happen to hear a female voice or he calls using a number I do not recognise, I should ask first. See what he has to say.

The wife in the show went berserk. She started yelling at her husband, accusing him of infidelity and not once did she allow him the chance to explain. She even ignores his calls that night and the next day. In fact, she walked around with a sulky look and everyone knew she was in a bad mood, even at work. Then she told her secretary she was not receiving any calls all day, which is not very professional if you're running a business.

I know anger. If there is one thing I know well, it is anger and betrayal. I have a temper to match anybody's I know. I can give yell for yell, scream for scream, slam for slam if I have to. I will stand and fight and get physical if I'm angry enough. I've been betrayed enough to know it when it hits me in the face or when it's coming at me. Because of these, I know that I never, ever want to say or do anything I might regret later. I will fight but I'm calm enough to know that I can never take back whatever I've said in anger. And the one thing I have always, always tried to do is never, ever regret anything I have ever done or any choices I have ever made. Which is why I'm careful with my choices.

And also, the wife hung onto her anger for at least 24 hours. If you love someone enough, you can be unselfish enough to see what they have to say. I cried when I was betrayed but I didn't get angry. I avoided the one who betrayed me but I never penalised his friends or made them choose since they were also my friends.

In addition, I can almost envision dozens of young, impressionable, silly girls who now think that it is perfectly fine to be irrational and overreact when dealing with life. That it's all right to scream and yell and accuse and feel wronged without finding out the truth.

Ever wondered why some girls act the way they do? It's because they believe they have a right to do so. They follow fashion and hype so much they forget to be logical. Worst of all, they believe everything they watch on TV to be true. This is why guys don't understand us. This is why we seldom seem to talk the same language.

And we think guys are confusing? At least, their lack of logic has a perverse rationale to it. Ours are too emotional and defies all laws of logic. But that woman in Sembilu? Really annoys me. Gives all females a bad name.

My jaw hit the floor and I almost fell off my chair, laughing.

Tom Jones got himself knighted!

Before people get too huffy about it, no, I don't think he does not deserve it. What I do think is what took them so long and I wonder what song he'll belt out in celebration?

It is funny what strikes you when you least expect it.

Despite spending a whole weekend with Shook, I miss him now that we're back in our own homes.

Throughout my college/university years, I was never happy with who I am or what I am. But, instead of choosing to wallow in it, I've chosen to overcome it. I may not still like how I am or what I am, but I am going to keep trying to be someone who can look at herself in the mirror every day and know that she's trying her best.

Nobody's perfect. If we are, we won't be on this Earth. But this still does not stop us from having high expectations of others. The only problem here is that when we do expect a lot from others and they do not come through, who else can we blame when we're disappointed?

I trust people easily. Especially those people I know. Then when they pretend with me and I believe them, I get hurt when it turns out they were pulling a prank on me. But if I did the same to them, I will be faced with sour looks and snide comments. So how do I win in such a situation?

We know what the problem is. We know the solution. Yet why do we still not make the move to make the problem go away by implementing the solution? Are we all suckers for torture or does misery give us more reason to be heard or to be the centre of attention?

I believe in karma and I don't disbelieve the Rule of Three. Wonder what the world would be like if more people did the same?

When we say something, we may not realise how contradictory we sound. Why do we get angry at people who do notice and try to help us not make a fool of ourselves?

Don't you sometime get tired of being right all the time or being stubborn all the time or just being the centre of attention all the time? I would. Takes too much work to keep up appearances. We should enjoy life more and be ourselves.

True friends will not want to see who we want to be. They would be happy to see us as we truly are.

If you're a friend only to those who keep you entertained, who can you go to when you're in trouble?

Having a boyfriend / girlfriend usually means being ready to be married. If there's any other reason, who are you trying to kid?

Why do we sometimes declare ourselves unreliable just to avoid responsibility?

If you're ever truly depressed, try doing something good for someone else. The satisfaction in knowing you've helped someone often makes you feel that life is worth living anyway.

Dogs may be Man's best friend but cats will let you know you're making a fool of yourself.

The way we act gives people an idea of how we don't mind being treated. Yet, we get angry when people get the wrong idea. Why, I wonder?

Some people really can't handle the truth. It's easier to be deluded.

Friday is the Twelfth Night. It's the twelfth day of Christmas.

I want to die in my sleep on my birthday. But before that, I'd like to be married to Shook and be mother of his children.

Watching medical shows make me worry about how I will be when I'm old, considering the fact that I used to drink a lot of alcohol and now inhale secondary smoke. I'm not a big fan of pain.

Society tires me with all its pretenses and hypocrisy. Yet, as long as 'no man is an island', I find it necessary to conform to society's rules.

I may not like my parents sometimes. But they're the only ones I'll ever have. The least I could do is assure them I'll survive when they are no longer around to protect me.

Love is a double-edged sword.

Movies and fiction novels are escape mechanisms. We should not believe everything we see and read.

Perfect relationships can only be found in fairy tales. In real life, we have to work at it constantly.

Why did I do this? It seemed like a good idea at the time. Feel free to love me or hate me. You have a right to your own opinions, just as I do.