I always watch my students whenever they are being themselves and not trying to conform to the rules and regulations of the school.
When they're not annoying the bejeepers out of me, I usually find them rather amusing.
I also find it rather alarming that the boys take more care with how they look compared to the girls. The most some of the girls do is comb their hair or run their fingers through their hair and they're ready. But the boys take ages in the washroom because they want to make sure every hair is in place. Well, maybe I'm exaggerating but it's close to the truth.
At first, I wondered whether doomsday is almost upon us because there's such a role reversal going on. Then I realised it's not going to happen.
There are still girls who are very superficial. They are so influenced by TV and movies that they take it as the norm. They think being popular is so ultra important. One student even said that she doesn't want anyone to talk bad about her because she'll become less popular then. What she does not realise is that nobody cares here. The students here talk to other students because they're nice and friendly, not because they're trying too hard to look good or they have a 'cool' MySpace or friendster site.
The first thing I learnt from my American friends in the US was that 'Don't believe everything you see in TV or the movies. They're lying so that more people will watch them.'
Unfortunately, life imitates art creating an impression that art imitates life. Or creating the cycle where life then imitates art. Or something like that.
And another thing. What's so great about having a boyfriend/girlfriend?! I never cared one way or another. If I hadn't met Shook or hooked up with him or ended up where I am with him, my Plan B is to move to Bali/Australia/the Caribbean/the Mediterranean and lived on a ranch or something, get lots and lots of cats and flirt with cute/gorgeous young studs on the weekends. Sounds like paradies on earth to me. So why not have a Plan B?
It's easier for guys to have a Plan B. They're more independent and stronger. And it's easier for them to enjoy an uncaring lifestyle than for us ;) (So politically incorrect but kinda true because if we did it, we'd be called sluts. If they did it, they'll be studs. How unfair is that?!)
Another thing. It's not who we hang out with that determines whether we're cool or not, it's what we are that determines. We cannot go through life blaming other people for who or what we are. It'll make us look so weak if we argue everything that happens to us as being someone else's fault. I don't know about you but I really don't like thinking of myself as weak. I may give in during an argument but that's only so I can let the person find out for themselves what a mistake they've made. And let them feel dumb in private.
There has to come a time when we have control of our lives. There's no point yelling our independence of thought and body to the world if we still blame our mother/ father/ brother/ sister/ cousin/ aunty/ uncle/ friend/ ex-boyfriend/ ex-girlfriend/ colleague/ ex-colleague for our own pitfalls and weaknesses. True independence means I am responsible for myself. My wrongs are my fault, my rights are of my own doing. If you decide to go through life making sure that you never regret whatever you've done, it could end up two ways. One, you live a very sedate and sedentary life or two, you could be happier knowing that everything you've done is right for you. Option one kind of makes you dull and emotionless. But option two could mean that you can move on. You've made a mistake, learn from it and move on. Nothing can go wrong. You don't have to be overly optimistic for this to happen. You just have to be honest and realistic.
And I wish I could tell all these to my students. But sometimes, the most loving, caring thing you can do for someone is to let them learn from their own mistakes. Some people won't listen to advice no matter how well-intended it is. So you let them be. You guide them, you advise them,you help them and then you let them be. And hope and pray that they learn.
11:49 am |
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Comments (4)
plan B sounds so familiar! did we discuss that when we were younger? i'm still up for it you know... one day ;)
Haha! That was our plan!! I'm definitely still up for it. Which is why I tell Shook that if he gets a job that takes us to those places, grab it! So maybe we can retire there or something. Maybe minus the studs lah! ;)
Kids are kids and sometimes the best thing for them is to find out the hard way, like you said.
Been there myself as I'm sure you have.
You know.. teachers are desperately needed in the caribbean. I think plan B is the best option.
I teach now in Los Angeles, I'm miserable although teaching has been my life and dream.
I loved your blog..
So true..
Your writing is very easy to read/visualize/and understand.
I concur with your emotions.
Thank you for blogging