Still Being Random

Through reading friends' blogs, I have realised that the year-end chaos is not just limited to me or teachers like me but also applies to people from all walks of life.

I have been to gatherings before where either one of two things or even both happens. When someone makes a comment about how busy I am and I reply to the comment, the other comments we get from other people who are listening would be something along the lines of "At least you get holidays. I don't." or "At least you only work 8 hours in a day. I work (insert number of hours which are more than 8) in a day" or "I don't see sunlight/night" or "You have no idea how busy I am too" or "I have to wake up at 4.30 a.m. and I don't get home until 1 a.m. or 2 a.m."

Sometimes I want to smack them and say "Get a life!". How many hours you work is entirely up to the life you choose to have. Just because you work so-and-so hours more than the person next to you does not mean they're inferior or stupider or less hardworking. It just means their job description requires such number of hours from them! Above all, it's not a competition! It never was! If you regard it as a competition, what does that say about your self-esteem?

Just because my job description requires me on site at work for 8 hours does not mean I can go home and relax and play games or watch movies or relax and be lazy the rest of the time. How do you know I don't sit at my computer for the next 6 hours slaving away preparing for the next day's 8 hours? How do you know I have a life and meet friends to relax and remind myself I'm human and not a slave to my job? How do you know I have other commitments that keep me just as busy as if I'm working 14-hour days?

I'm tired of people comparing their jobs to mine. I'm tired of people using their jobs as a way to escape other commitments. Above all, I'm tired of people using their jobs as a way to seek pity or, as the Malays put it, minta kesian.

I like my job. I like what I do. I may tell tons and tons of stories about my students and my colleagues. Some stories are good, some are bad. But I refuse to use it as an excuse to whine and moan and groan. You don't want to meet us, you don't want to attend the meeting, you don't want to go for dinner with us - that's your problem! Say so! Don't say things like "At least you work only 8 hours. I work irregular hours, sometimes 10 hours, sometimes 12, sometimes even 14!"

Have you ever tried to get only 3 hours sleep then go a building where each and every noise is either of a child yelling or a student asking questions constantly? Where you stand up from 8.15 a.m. to 4 p.m. answering questions, explaining historical events and business analysis? Where sometimes you need to explain something 4 or 5 times at once? Where your lunch break is only 40 minutes if you're lucky? Where you have to sit for an extra hour at the end of the day in a meeting with people who are equally tired and there in body but not in spirit? Or have you ever been given a holiday or a weekend knowing you'll spend it working anyway - marking papers, doing research, preparing lessons? Or spent 8 hours exhausting yourself body, mind and soul? I have and I do. But you don't hear me complaining that I'm tired when someone calls me out for a drink or dinner or even make a project speech or even attend a meeting, do you?

You hate your job that much that it gives you reason to complain, bloody hell, freaking quit and put us out of your misery!!

PS: This did not start out as a rant but since it ended that way, I'm leaving it at that!

A few years ago, my Norwegian cousin (who is really my niece but they seem to use the word 'cousin' a lot) came to Kuching. She was really fun to be with but I couldn't spend much time with her as I was working.

But I did manage to take her out for drinks once and Mac joined us.

Anyway, I kept promising him pictures but never got round to them until now. Why now? Well, I just got an email saying that she's coming to Kuching again next April and this time, with more cousins and aunts and uncles.

To help you out, my cousin, Mari, is the blonde girl standing behind the small boy.

The picture is not very clear because I had to scan it. My parents went to Oslo some years back and managed to catch up with them while they were there.

These are my other cousins. I think my dark-haired cousin, Ina, is really pretty. I used to keep in touch with my other cousin, Irene, (the blonde girl on Ina's right) but we lost touch when we both went off to college.

Before any of you get cynical and claim that we're related by marriage, I'll have to explain that our Great (don't know how many times) Grandfather sailed to Norway with his Norwegian wife and stayed there for good. So we're related by blood. So, before you look down at me because I have no white skin or blonde hair or blue eyes, take a look in the mirror first. Also, I probably have more orang putih blood than some people we all know. And we thought Hitler was dead!!

Oh, this is the ship he sailed to Norway in. She was pregnant when they on board and the child walked off the ship by himself (or was it herself?) by the time they reached Norway. I'll be more certain of the history when school holidays get here because I'm using my holidays to complete my research on my ancestors.

Part of the research is to find out about my ancestor who was the Treasurer or Secretary to one of the Rajah Brookes. This is all on my mother's side. What's funny is that if my parents had been alive then, they would have been like Romeo and Juliet because at the same time, my father's ancestors were leading the revolution against the Brookes. Remember Sharif Masahor? Well, my relative. Which also connected us to the Kings of Pontianak. My granduncle living in Matang now is the direct descendant of the Pontianak rulers. When my father went to Pontianak the last time, the Pehin there offered him the throne too. Haha! Taking into consideration my fascination with vampires, I am not surprised!

My mom's side has the British, Norwegians, South Africans, Chinese, Portuguese and Melanaus. My dad's side has the Arabs, Moroccans, a few Bedouins here and there, Malay and a few Melanaus here and there too. The Melanau bits on my mom's side is nearer than on my dad's. I really should ask Shook's parents one day if they know of a lady called Nek Kandang or, her Muslim name, Hajah Fatimah. My relatives have hilarious names.

Anyway, yeah, my relatives on my mother's side will be invading Kuching April next year. We call it the Inaugural Mowe Convention. The Norwegians pronounce it Mo-vay and not Mao like we do.

This is what Shook would call a 'chick flick'.

It looks interesting. Whether it will show here is another matter entirely. But it looks like a nice no-brainer movie.

Sometimes, I wonder if people bother to check what their blog looks like after they've posted entries in it.

I have some anal tendencies like I always check to see what this blog looks like after I've posted each entry. It's just to make sure that everything is in alignment and nothing is screwed up or anything.

I'm the kind who likes things to turn out nice looking and just right especially if it's to do with my creative side. Which also explains why I'm still hanging on to the last few pages of the school yearbook. Hey! When you're the only one working on it, it's your baby, you know!!

But, sidetrack aside, I really recommend that some people check their blogs carefully. It loses some aesthetic value if it's all screwy.

Has anyone ever tried the Hotspot facility at Coffee Bean?

I was curious about it since I was thinking of going there to get updates for my laptop.

Does that seem extreme?

Well, no. Especially since my laptop doesn't seem to be able to go through my modem at home and Shook always blames me for his connection fizzling.

I'd use the one at the Sarawak Club but it's currently out of service. So I'm left with Coffee Bean and Holiday Inn.

After the disappointment that was the Sound of Thunder, I am more, more, more than ready to go watch Transporter 2. It'll probably turn out to be better because it has a winning combination - the good-looking (to me!) anti-hero, cars and lots of action! So anyone up for it...maybe this Friday or Saturday evening?

On another note, I am feeling less stressed because my work is almost done. A few pages for the school yearbook, finish marking my History and Business Studies papers, key in the marks and grades, plan the year-end picnic for the students and I AM DONE!!! Wohoo! I'm so ahead that I've already put into motion my students' plans for next year's prom in October!

With that, I'm asking for suggestions on what to do for the holidays. I'm looking for things within reason, mind you! If some smartass starts telling me to go to Singapore and KL to do shopping, I'll tell you to pay for my expenses and if you can't, you can go piss off!

Also, I was reading a blog entry by Azreen and I oh so agree with her 150%! It is retarded to go after someone else's boyfriend. Almost like saying you're either desperate or too lazy to go look for your own! Getting a life would be the first step to getting a partner. Some people do see the laid-back attitude as attractive. So if you have a stick up your ass, of course you'll never get a partner! {Although I do know someone who is dating another girl's boyfriend and stayed because the guy managed to convince her he'd break up with Girl #1 if he could but couldn't because Girl#1 knows some of his darkest secrets and threatens to go to his father with it if he breaks up with her - sounds so cliche, huh? I figured there and then that if I'm ever in that situation, someone please shoot me because it's so demeaning and stupid! Which is also why I had to do research on Shook to make sure he's not the type to string girls along}

Somewhere along the same line, I'd like to share two quotes I saw at my doctor's clinic.


I only brought it up because it does tie-in with the stick-up-the-ass thing.

Today has just been one very depressing day.

I love the rain but today was just so bad that the rain didn't cheer me up one bit.

For one, today was graduation day for my students. So there was the usual tears being shed and touching speeches made. This is the group that was with me from the first day I came in to teach the secondary. So I was already sad to begin with.

Then I had to send my family to the airport. They left for KL at 2.45 and will be leaving for New York at 6 a.m. tomorrow. They won't be back until November 7th. I don't have a problem being alone at home, but I have a huge problem saying goodbye to my parents especially my father. He asked for a hug at the airport and I almost couldn't let him go...again. The last time this happened, I was the one leaving to study in the US. I hung on to him and said I didn't want to go. He had to ask my friend to pull me to the boarding gate. Silly huh?

And to add to it all, I found out that a woman I'm in a committe with has been bitching that I will not make a good president because I put a higher priority on my family. Apparently, she said this at a meeting which I didn't attend last night because I said I wanted to have dinner with my family since they're leaving today. The thing is I know her family. Her own daughter-in-law tells people her husband rapes her to get sex from her. So it sort of explains the family she has. I told Arthur about this and he thinks this woman is just jealous. Never thought of it that way.

So, add all this up with my work-related stress and you have before you, me who is doing a very good impression of a leaking bucket. I cried in the car on the way back to school and I cried again in the bathroom after work. I just couldn't seem to stop. Am I in trouble or what?

Transporter 2 and Sound of Thunder is out this week. On the same day. Thursday!

I want to go watch! Both. Although not at the same time...

If nobody is interested, I'll even go by myself. Goodness knows there's nothing else to do. Can't exactly go for lunch or anything beofre the sun goes down, now can I?

I have two cousins who I have spent quite a lot of time growing up with. One of them was living here but now works in KL and I regard him as my oldest brother. Some of you met him the last time he was in town.

The other cousin is Singaporean. 'Nuff said. But he is like an older brother to me too.

I had a lot of guys babysitting me when I was very young, I tell you! Is it any wonder I relate more to guys than to girls? What's best is some of them actually became famous and some of them were thought of as gorgeous by some girls. I just go, "Eh?!"

Anyway, I love both my older 'brothers'...errr...maybe one more than the other but that's a different story.

My point is one of them writes like this while the other writes like this. So different....

Guess which one I insisted Shook meet? ;)

I am a firm believer in karma. I have always believed that whatever good or bad I've done to others will come back to me one day.

I was reminded of this today when I was stuck at school because of the torrential rain. Karma came to my mind because my senior students were busy getting things to the venue for their prom. While watching them, it suddenly hit me that they've not been the most respectful or obedient students. So maybe this was Someone's way of showing them the error of their ways.

Then when I drove home, I found out that the T-junction that came from Nanas Road leading to Middle Road was totally submerged. I could only see the drain parapets and water. So I had to turn back and use the longer way to get home.

Which again brought me back to my thoughts on karma. Upon reflection, I realised that I've had lots of pretty good luck the past few years. I mean, I'm not without sin or anything but nothing very bad has been happening to me. Things that I want to happen usually end up happening when I want them to. I've had my share of fights with Shook and things have turned out rather well. I've inadvertently made some enemies and friends have become acquaintances but nothing which I can't justify.

So...as far as karma goes...I could almost safely say I'm on the right track. So far. Which is why I will continue to try and treat others as I would like them to treat me. And if they cannot do that, I'll just shrug and go my merry way. Karma will do the rest.

When I happen to have a problem, I have the worst habit of not telling anyone about it.

I actually keep it to myself and try to solve it myself. Sometimes, the people I try to tell it to don't understand why I'm telling them my problems so I usually give up trying after the second or third time.

The other thing I tend to do also is avoid going out. I become almost the recluse. I guess, I figured that I don't want to be the party pooper or something so I might as well not do any socialising. I won't want people getting angry with me for all the wrong reasons.

So that sort of explains why I'm home tonight. I'm just feeling tired too. Driving in town on a weekday is always stressful to me. I'm used to being stuck at work all day, within the building, that I get a bit of a shock when I'm out in town during the day. And I was in the middle of town for most of the morning today too until about 2 p.m.

So the tired plus the problem plus the thought of all the work I need to do equals me wanting to hide under my blanket and not come out to make any kind of decisions or do any activity which requires concentration.

This post alone has taken me close to 15 minutes to compose. So why did I do it? Just to explain to some people, I guess, why I'm doing a temporary disappearing act.

One of my many vices is my inability to resist temptation.

Remember my plan to run some errands today and then go shoe shopping?

Well, I only managed to achieve the errands bit. I went to the Registrar of Society, got the information I needed on what to do to get my club constitution changed and then headed out to the Maybank near Sarawak Plaza to add my signature on the club account's signatories.

That was my primary reason for going out and I completed it.

Then I made the mistake of walking into the bookshop. I saw a book I wanted but I changed my mind and bought a book for my youngest sister instead. She had been asking for the Chronicles of Narnia so I got it for her.

Then I decided to walk to Times bookstore and Popular bookstore. At Popular I again saw the book I wanted but in a hardcover edition. I figured if it was going to pop out at me that way, I might as well get it. So I walked to Times across the road hoping they would have the softcover. Turns out they didn't, but they had a whole lot of books I found interesting.

So I then did the most confusing thing ever. I walked back to Sarawak Plaza, bought the book I first saw there, then walked to Times to buy the other books I was eyeing. And along the way, I stopped at McDonald's to get the oh-so-lovely-my-favourite veggie burger, which just arrived in Kuching after I have been craving it for years since leaving the US!!

Anyway, by the time I got to my car, which was parked behind Parkson, I was carrying three plastic bags. Did I mention that I also made a pit stop at Watsons too?

So, well, yeah, the books. My vice. One of many that I have. Hence the temptation I could not resist. But I usually buy books like this on an annual basis anyway. Just that, it's been awhile since I've done this in Kuching. But since I'm probably not going to KL this year, I figured I'm doing OK on the annual thing.

Anyway, the books I got today are:

1) The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova
2) Atlantis by David Gibbins
3) Serenity by Keith R.A. DeCandido
4) After Midnight by Teresa Medeiros
5) Vampirates: Demons of the Ocean by Justin Somper

They should keep me occupied effectively throughout the upcoming holidays.

I wanted to get the Amateur Naturalist for Shook because he did express an interest a few times, but with Shook, it's always wiser to drag him along to buy just to make sure he still wants it.

This is my 12 year old sister's blog.

She tends to rant but you can definitely see the emotions behind them. She can be quite the drama queen but she's also very expressive.

And I'm trying to get her to read materials which are more substantial than Gempak and Galaxie. So I'm supplying her with Dan Brown and Dean Koontz books.

She also needs to get her eyes checked because we suspect she's been secretly reading when she's supposed to be sleeping.

She's got brains when she decides to use them. Usually, she likes to act like a blonde. She's also good in Maths and she wants to be a computer programmer. She's going through them like wildfire because she even gets bored of staring at the TV and computer all day.

She loves CSI: New York but still watches CSI and CSI:Miami with me anyway.

She's quick to answer and she's rather witty.

She reminds me of Shook in so many ways.

Oh, but she does tend to swear and I'm not sure why she thought she could. I've always thought there was an age limit to swearing: only 18 and above! But I guess some people don't think so and they've sworn in front of her. Either that, or the TV should be more boring so she'll watch less of it. CSI never swore.

For the past 5 years, I have discovered a pattern within myself.

I get cranky and extremely short-tempered during the months of May-June and September-November. It's not a moon cycle or anything. Those are just the months when I have to deal with exam papers to prepare and mark and grade and student reports. During the end of the year, that load is added by a yearbook to complete, various paperwork to close, students to keep an eye on to make sure they maintain discipline and field trips to organise.

In the past 5 years, I have discovered that the only true holiday I have is the year-end holiday. Any other holiday is just a token break with only the perks of waking up only when I want to and being able to work while watching TV or listening to music. Everything else is still very much the same. I work during my holidays, my breaks and my weekends. I work in school for 8 hours straight (try standing up all day teaching inquisitive and (sometimes) arrogant teenagers). Then I go home, take a short rest, eat dinner and do work again until 1 a.m. If I go out with Shook, I sometimes take my work with me and do it at his house.

I have given up the luxury of playing any PC games or watching late-night TV during school days. Even my brand new laptop is there for me to carry my work around with me. And most of all, I've given up even complaining about my voluntary, unpaid overtime work because I will always meet someone who claims they work harder than I do!

But..BUT...despite all this, despite my exhaustion of mind and body, the one thing I always, always make time for is the chance to hang out with my friends. I've told Shook that he relaxes me. He helps me think of things other than myself and my job.

My friends, like Rin, Jerome, Nick and guys at the Crib, remind me that there is more to my life than just working and earning money. I may start out cranky and sarcastic with them or even yawning my head off, but I know I can always depend on them to help me either unload or start laughing and forgetting how tired I really am.

So I did what I had to do. Despite my immense bills, I set my priorities straight and always try to go out and have fun with my friends.

The family is there with their unconditional love and support. True friends are there when the world walks out on you.

Besides, as my students always say, we all need to improve on our social skills so that we know how to be a friend. I do have some wise students in my class...

Last night, a few of us were at the Crib to say goodbye to the place.


Two days ago, we got word that Raymond, who looked like he had been running the place solely on his own, was closing the Crib down and having a final night for it on 30th September.

So, last night, I left everything I had to do or attend to and headed out to the Crib. And for the first time, we had what can only be considered a huge party until 4 a.m. During which time, the place was so packed that I didn't have a place to sit. I sat with Kenny in the VIP area to counsel him on his problems then when we were done, I went to the kitchen to help wash dishes. Considering that I always enjoy washing dishes and usually do it to calm myself and to ponder on some issues, I felt this time was no exception.

Throughout the night, while washing dishes, I got to know a lot of people, and watched while Aaron and Raymond were overcome by their emotions. Aaron could not get over the fact that I was helping out and still be the paying customer. And since Raymond said he could never repay me for helping them out last night (considering the fact that they have been understaffed for quite a while), Aaron decided payment would come in the form of very brotherly pecks on the cheeks and a huge hug. I've know Aaron for close to 15 years. In fact, I've known Aaron longer than I've known all the guys I hang around with! I also told them, that if they stayed open, I was planning on volunteering there during the school holidays. Better than doing nothing, it would be like working and hanging out with friends at the same time!


By the time 4 a.m. rolled by, I was feeling sorry for Raymond and Jamie (his soon-to-be wife,we all hope). Jamie was yawning away from sheer exhaustion and Raymond had blood-shot eyes. He was just plain sad in addition to being tired. When I spoke to him, I knew he was a great businessman in the making. He told me that when they first started the business, he knew he would have to forego any and all possible vacations and holidays for the next 2 - 5 years. And I agree with him. In a typical textbook situation, no business can make a profit within the first 5- 8 years of operation. The only business that can do that is the education business. So if you want quick and easy money, open a good tuition center and you'll be rich fairly quickly - within 8 months. But don't do this if you're egoistic, refuse to take advice and would make a crap teacher.

Business has never been about self-centredness or ego or arrogance. You lose customers that way. Business has always been about passion and teamwork. Watch the Apprentice if you don't believe me.


But Raymond has all the good qualities of a businessman. Not only for his passion but also for his professionalism. The fact that he makes a good friend is a bonus for the lot of us who really, honestly care for the Crib.


Like these insane people who should not be doing this but they are. Rin calls them the "Muslims Behaving Badly/Muslims Gone Wild". Nick there is the exception, of course.