There is one thing I promised myself I will do before I get married. In fact, I sort of envision doing it a few days if not the day before my wedding.

I want to get my close girl friends together and burn everything I have that reminds me of the guys I used to like. The first thing I'll throw into the fire will be a bunch of letters I received from the first guy I thought I loved. Now that I think about it, not only was he using me, he never loved me. And I never loved him. I think I was in love with the idea of being in love with him. Because when he ended up with another girl, I wasn't heartbroken about it. I was more disappointed in him because he promised he'll tell me if he ever fell in love with another girl. I found out the hard way. I walked in on her sitting on his lap. And he is not the touchy-feely sort. So I knew something was up. I know I was disappointed in him more than heartbroken.

So, it is his letters that I will burn. And to start the fire, I'll use a certain burgundy shirt with garish dragons all over it. It can be found somewhere in Shook's closet right now. He knows I intend to burn it. Now I know when.

And to add some significance to it all, maybe I'll do this burning on November 5th. That's as good a date as any.

Then I'll delete a folder in my email account. It's full of emails I got from the second guy I thought I wanted. I think it was purely lust. He came along when I was ready to start dating and so I was using him to see if I was willing to do it. That's one more thing for me to get rid of.

I might have named this entry closure but I'm pretty sure it's more than that. I merely refuse to walk into this marriage with baggage from my past. And so, I refuse to allow Shook any baggage as well. I'm hoping that the more he jokes about his stupid exes, the lighter he'll feel. All I know is that I should thank them for being stupid enough to let him get away from them.

But from what I can understand, not only were they not the sharpest tools in the shed, they also needed a dictionary when they were listening to him. Yes, they were dumb. And I saw a picture of one of them. She's plain, not as busty as the guys believe she was and definitely nothing to talk about. She acted stupid, she sounds stupid and I can say she deserves every single bad thing that happens to her now.

Karma, baby! I am a firm believer in karma!

And I have a burning ritual to plan.