I write this in response to Mac's blog entry.

To be honest, I sympathise with Mac a lot. He is just one great guy caught in an unfair society full of indecisive people. I owe Mac a lot and for that, he will always be a special friend to me. The last thing I want to see is him being used or played with, even if he claims it is on his own free will.

Sometimes, I want to tell Mac how very much I understand where he is coming from. I once read this bit taken from the book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families. Although it is focused on children, I still believe we can apply this to our everyday lives even as adults.

If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn.
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith in himself.
If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight.
If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to love.
If a child lives with fear, he learns to be apprehensive.
If a child lives with recognition, he learns to have a goal.
If a child lives with pity, he learns to be sorry for himself.
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself.
If a child lives with jealousy, he learns to feel guilty.
If a child lives with friendliness, he learns that the world is a nice place in which to live.

Since we are now adults, we have control over who we are and what we become. We cannot spend the rest of our lives blaming our past. Although the habits above concerns where a child lives, I usually adapt it to the people I hang around with. I am an emphatic. I admit it. It is very easy for me to absorb other people's feelings and moods and I do it all the time. Yet, even while I am doing it, the words above come to mind and I try my very hardest not to hurt or offend my friends. I see their reactions and I know when to stop.

I have also learnt that if I want to dish it out, I sure as heck better take it in. If I want to criticise others, I am well prepared to have them criticise me. If I want to make fun of others, I am ready for them to make fun of me. But when I do something and then get mad at someone else for doing the same to me, that's when I start to take that very important step back to evaluate what I have become.

So my response to Mac is that - Mac, I care for you. You're one of the greatest guys I've ever met. I want only the best for you. So forgive me if I've done you wrong or if I happen to be fussy for your sake. I know you for who you are and I think it'll take a very special, selfless and considerate girl to deserve you. Until then, don't ever think you deserve second best just because the best has not yet come along.

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